zee '99 she/her
genuine mundane posting

autobio

— hello hello! welcome in to my blog! here I post the following:

- weekly reporter - mini 1000s - project logs - media logs - reflections -

I treat my dreamwidth very similar to a diary with more of a focus on longer form, and life related writings. I have a variety of interests, notably: writing, video games, creativity, pottery, art, crafting, fitness, and indie web development! I also have an interest in fandom, fannish writings, and the occasional yumejoshi chatter.

📰 weekly reporter

vol. 2 no. 1 week of 12/28/25-01/03/26

r.e.p.o.r.t.e.r — media recap — editors recap—

— reflecting

happy new year!!!!! while my first ever!!!! weekly report was written in march of 2024, i think it's a little more fitting to renumber everything with the new year. so welcome to the (proper) volume 2 of weekly reporter! yay! i did a little bit of research when this idea of renumbering reporter popped into my head so. anyway...
in the new year spirit... i Want to do reflection posts, I Want to talk about goals and stuff but well. it also makes me crazy and paralyzes me so. IDK how to resolve that yet. I've been really struggling to write in general, so recapping the year and setting new goals seems daunting. I have a bingo card made... sigh. I'd like to resolve this problem this week.

— enjoying

while I'm bemoaning recapping and setting my own goals, this is what I really enjoy!!! I love seeing everyones new journal ecosystems (which also baffles me, truthfully...), setting new goals, ins and outs, the bingo or punch cards... I love this!!!!
these last two weeks, I've also really been loving matching sweatpants and pullover outfits. it got cold here (after it having been like 60 degrees and comfortable for weeks) so I've been needing more layers.

— playing

LADS 2nd anniversary you tricky trickey game.... lads added the sims. THE SIMS!!!!! they gave you a house to decorate and wow. im obsessed!!!!!! I also love the concept for the current banner au- its basically space opera? there is, of course, discourse around caleb (whats new) because they finally dropped a "brother by blood" in the card instead of the "childhood friend but raised together" they've been doing since release. then theres the usual complaints of infold being money hungry (again, whats new. plus its a gacha lbr). so i'm back to ignoring the social media except for the fanartists and the house designers now. tbh my interest in lads was wanning for a while but i think the break was needed because now im fully obsessed again. my favorite part of lads in cooing over the boys in photobooth or on the home screen, and now in the house. BAHAHA. I leveled up xaviers affinity to 100 finally so I did a wedding photoshoot in the house. it was so fun!!!! i can't wait to unlock room 4 which is a gym room, and I'm hoping that when they add room 5 its a kitchen. id loveee to see some more interactions or maybe even mini games.... but the mini games is a long shot.. what i really hope for is adding the crane game plushies as decor items and maybe even the meow badges. it would be cool to see the With Him decor as furniture too.
I also picked up the bass again!! i was pleasantly surprised by how much came back after 2(?) years of not practicing. I'm working on R U Mine? by arctic monkeys because it has a kick ass bass line, and I have the sheet music for it BAHAH. it was also one of the pieces we were working on before I stopped doing lessons.

— obsessing

more ruminating obsessing these last few weeks.

— recommending

I asked for a fancy hairdryer for christmas and it changed my life. I've been using a cheap conair for years now, so I got upgraded to the shark pro flex. its seriously awesome. I love it. i have thick hair, and it used to take forever to dry and now its so much faster. I need to learn how to actually use the attachments now that i have a hairdryer that can use them.

— treating

mom and dad having been buying asiago bagels for breakfast sandwiches! these are my favorite kind of bagel so breakfast has been even more enjoyable. I've also eaten a lot of pears lately!!! I really like a slightly softer pear than my mom.. but gyah... I really like pears.

— encountering

I am so glad that everyone is getting into the gym for new years but please come at a different timeeeeeee... sigh. january is hard for gym rats like me because of the influx of new people... but everyone has to start somewhere... so I'm glad you're here... but don't be stupid..... and be courteous and kind to others in the gym...... pleaseeeeee........

— restoring

been sitting around playing lads sims house designer since the update came out on 12/31 and wooowwww.... i didn't really realize how much rest i needed..

spring semester starts soon... note to self: add word count somewhere; expand stats report with words/pages written? hobby tracking..? update this section with a fun "ticker" element????

media recap

📚 reading: mostly enjoying the current banner event in lads... i'm particularly fond of rafayels rn
📺 watching: mom has been rewatching the witcher
🎵 listening: new playlist: I'm into everything you have going on which is a manifestation playlist for the next boyfriend. if he isn't into me like this then what is the point. also did some obsessive relistens to both entertainment and double dare by waterparks to 1) get over a crush and 2) consider writing album reviews on my record club (shoutout lettie!!!)
🎮 playing: LADS. looking forward to arknights: endfield, definitely putting pokemon legends za on the to play list...

📥 editors recap

hoooo weeeeee... happy holidays. happy new year, hello 2026!! long time no journaling!!! I've been frustrated and anxious and I can't quite find my voice but it is the new year and we must be brave. we must make art!! I've been collecting reminders for 2026 in the way of goals and progress and purpose etc etc... it feels a little daunting to write reporter tonight. I journaled before this, and it felt like pulling teeth. I'm glad I pushed through, because I found that at about 400 words in, my worried melted away and I still had 600 words to write about all the beautiful things. I don't want to be scared or anxious to write in 2026. I want to set fun and challenging goals, I'd like to do lot of neat things, I want to meet people, and go on adventures and generally, have a lot of fun.
thank you for being here. I'd like to see you again this new year as well.

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weekly reporter vol. 2 no. 1 | Page 1

on writing — current musings — dating and modeling — stats report — cultivation, curation, creation —

🖉 on writing

writing goals I'd like to achieve:

redevelop daily writing habit: 3 handwritten pages OR 1000 typed words
get into writing fanfic
achieve those old progress log writing goals
write up chara bios for ocs
write ups for oc universes
IDEAL: write 52 weekly reporters; write more reporters than last year (21)
get reporter written and posted before bedtime (aka stop staying up late to do reporter)
write up old essay ideas (5-6 old drafts)
post on dreamwidth more....? monthly report (template sketched.. need to code) ? rando fun stuff....?

sigh..... ambitious as always. better get to writing.

💭 current musings: magic

been getting a lot of tarot readings on my instagram feed which makes me want to pull some cards here soon. I don't think I've pulled cards since 2024 truthfully. I stopped pulling cards because they kept telling me I needed to do the work. I'm not sure that I 'm done enough work yet, which is why I'm hesitant to pull cards.
looking at all the new year predictions- japanese lucky chart, chinese zodiacs, astrology, so on and so forth... it should be a good 2026...

👛 dating and modeling

in my last update I said: "I've decided dating is not a priority to me, but I'm open to it for the right person..." and then some random cute guy followed me out of the blue on instagram.. we had a lot of mutual interests and things kinda clicked so I got a little excited. we "broke up" due to distance but maaaannn... it was a lesson. (its always a lesson) that it has to be a hell yes or its a hell no. it still kinda stings because i was honestly excited about what Could Happen. but yeah. I'm sticking to it for real!!! dating is not a priority, but for the right person, I'm open to it. If I'm excited and we click, then hell yeah- let's figure it out and make it work. so I had to get over rejection and listened to waterparks and then decided I wanted to manifest positive stuff instead so I put together that playlist I linked LOL.
no fashion updates... I've lived in sweatpants and comfy clothes during the holidays (as one should.)

📊 stats report

— last weeks goals
☑ finals!
▭ register for spring ▣ law school app
☇ creatine & bcaa protocol
bonus! mini blogmas ☒

passed my finals with an A and a B!! I registered for spring, but I haven't turned in my law school app bc I'm nervous about it. I need to write two essays for it. I started taking creatine and bcaa's in my workout water bottle... I really wanna get the ryse fruit punch bcaas again. I felt the best when I was taking that stack during my workout followed by breakfast, protein shake + collagen on my way into work... sigh....

— 3 goals for the upcoming week
☐ new years posting
☐ law school application
☐ write workout split
bonus! restart the artists way

I will beat back the anxiety in all this writing and report back victorious next week. :salute emoji: I have a couple of workout splits I wanna modify, and then I also need to write up a warm up mobility routine, a cool down stretching routine, and probably add an ab circuit too.

curation
I need to figure out a good way to track things. I should probably just use apps/sites for this but I'll probably make an obisidan template or I should really just track in my hobonichis.....

creation
really wanna more analog hobbies this year... I bought a film camera and some film so I need to play around with it and then of course I see this film scanner just went on sale so. it feels very universe message-y to me. i really want a cute hard case for this camera so I can put stickers on it. I also saw this post about paper punches and I love the embossing stamp one. this would be soooo good for journaling. which is another thing i want to do more in the new year is art journaling!!!!!

cultivation
I really want to be better about cultivating friendships and connections... if you ever want to meet, or do penpals or anything...!!!!! please let me know!!! I am going to do better in responding to comments in a timely manner!!!! I want to connect and meet people!! give me a reason to travel!! I'm already planning some fun new adventures for this year... maybe we could do one together WAAHHHH

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weekly reporter vol 2 no. 1 | Page 2

📰 weekly reporter

vol 35 week of 11/16-12/06

r.e.p.o.r.t.e.r — media recap — editors recap—

— reflecting

on Friday, I texted myself this: "everyday I'm hungry for something to consume. I need to make something to feed myself...." in times where I'm not writing or creating, I find myself with this itch I can't scratch. a desire to sink into something.. I look for blogs or articles to read, for a video to watch, something to satiate that hunger for Something. I sit with it for a while, flipping idly between social media, my reading page, for anything that I can really devote and dive into... but eventually I realize it's a need to create something, to be fully engaged with my own work and inner flow state. that need to find and figure out how the pieces fit together.
I guess there's the concept of filling the well (I believe from the artists way?) and/or filling your own cup. I'm at the point now, where I need to make things, not consume things. that's what that hunger is. I think I've talked about it before in reporter?

— enjoying

within the last two weeks I went on vacation! we went on a carnival cruise out of new orleans. our itinerary was 2 sea days, celebration key, half moon cay, nassau and then 2 more sea days before we came home. my goals for the cruise were to 1. learn how to stand up paddle board and 2. stay drinking. I achieved both goals! at celebration key and half moon cay, I was able to rent a paddleboard and I only fell off the board 3 times (twice on the first day, once on the second). I was able to stand up and just kind of float along... so the next goal is to actually paddle about without losing my balance. I didn't think to go on my knees before standing up- I started seated (like in a kayak) and then went into a low squat before tentatively standing up. it was fun! when the weather gets warmer, I will try to paddleboard locally so I can get better.
I don't drink or go out a lot in regular life... so on the boat I like to indulge a bit. I start the day with mimosas at breakfast, then I day drank tropical mules (a new discovery to me!), and then moved into fufu vodka martinis starting at dinner and into the evening at the nightclub. I did a lot of shots, and had a blast dancing in the nightclub. I did not gamble this time, but made friends with some people who played a lot of blackjack. maybe in the future I'll try my hand at the blackjack tables...
I didn't get a lot of sun; I was good about putting on my sunscreen, and wore hats to cover my face. on past cruises, I've always had to deal with sunburns and they seriously ruin the cute outfits I put together. I want to plan another cruise already... I seriously love the cruise life T_T

— playing

soooooo that new sylus companion huh.... I went to use up my free pulls for his banner and got one of his cards so. now I'm suckered into unlocking his companion. it came home in my first 10 pull... why cant xavier or zayne be like that huh.....
other than that.... prepping for finals has been eating up my gaming time. I did do trivia on thursday and we won first place!!! this win was preceded by doughboy by jvb playing as one of the timer songs to which I "entered a trance that [I] couldn't be pulled out of." so my friends had a laugh at me while I sang and danced to jvb as they deliberated on whether to wager all 20 points or not. I truly!!!! did not expect to hear JVB in the wild like that, much less DOUGHBOY of all songs.

— obsessing

obsessing has been a little closer to ruminating this week. mostly finals prep and..... law school application stuff. before I left for vacation, I was looking at classes for next year and couldn't decide between two classes.. and then I got into a rabbit hole of potential concentrations and cross applying credits towards a master of science... but then I thought.. how can I also take another pottery class because I miss being in the studio.... so then it's juggling which classes on what days... so I set aside all those worries for after vacation, and now well.... its after vacation sooooo time to make some decisions.

— recommending

when I first started reporter, I wanted recommending to be similar to the link letters that casey johnston of shes a beast does. and today is the day I can finally do something similar!! (yay!)
I realized that sometimes I skim a lot of articles like game reviews, paper recommendations, video game merch highlights, health notes, science papers, and other misc things. I skim until I find whatever piqued my interest and close out of the tab. what this means is that I don't ever save them to reference in reporter... which makes me think I'm not reading (arguably I'm not, since I'm skimming) but I'm just not saving what I read. this is related to an idea I want to explore a little bit in encountering.
more recommendations: starting from nix newsletters (1) and (2); more henrik: (1), (2), (3); note to self to check out david perell (how I write podcast) and leave spotify; also cool layout on this site

— treating

my favorite meals from the cruise were the two steakhouse nights we did: a filet mignon and then a huge ribeye; the thanksgiving day meal I had: spinach and ricotta ravioli and a delicious pork tenderloin; and the spaghetti carbonara in the main dining room. drink highlights were the tropical mule and the strawberry lemon drop martini. celebration key's mingos had a frozen strawberry drink that was super yummy too.
mom and dad went to one of our favorite bakeries and got my a couple brownies this weekend too ^_^

— encountering

was thinking about earlier this week how I'm so lucky to be able to learn, and all the opportunities to learn that are around me. I skimmed all those articles earlier this week and was just inspired and awestruck about how much information I have access to, if I choose to pursue it. I always want to do so much, I feel like I don't have enough time to learn it all. which is the wrong way to think about it, see donkey.
it's been on my mind since I finished hell yeah or no and started anything you want. combined with the new year excitement of goal setting and wanting to do so much... already I have ideas for things I want to research and write about... taking the time to actually follow through on ideas...

— restoring

came back from beautiful tropical weather in the Caribbean to cold and dreary overcast weather which I think caused me to have some congestion/head cold thing. so I've been taking a lot of naps and trying to get back onto the zinc/magnesium/vitamin c supplement routine. we also took it easy on getting back into the gym this week.

🎄 18 days until christmas 🎆 25 days until new years

media recap

📚 reading: before my trip I finished hell yeah or no at the gym and followed it up by starting anything you want. those have been on pause while I was on the boat, where I finished volume one of coins of destiny which is the first danmei I ever read! I read the fan translation based on someones recommendation on twitter, so I was glad when it got an official translation. I hold liu yao sooo close to my heart bc it was my first and it was my introduction to priest's amazing work.
also did some random dives into the demon slayer and my hero academia wikis as procrastination the other night......
📺 watching: I haven't been watching much except a couple gaming lets plays....
🎵 listening: spotify wrapped and youtube wrapped will probably get a separate post as part of a year end retrospective thing I want to do but my new workout playlist is starting to come together.
also had beneath the mask-rain, instrumental stuck in my head as I started writing reporter tonight
🎮 playing: a touch of lads... thinking about getting back into playing on my switch....

📥 editors recap

writing recap first. kinda wanted to flip the structure like I have in the past, but sometimes I think reporter looks a little weird at the bottom. anyway. WOWWWWWW there's so much to catch up on!! I meant to get reporter out on the 30th but on the drive home from the cruise I pretty much ended up sleeping the whole way.... I didn't wanna publish in the middle of the week.. and was finals prep week... so. long time nooooo writing at all. also was anyone gonna correct me on the header. why did I leave "week of october [date]" for pretty much the whole month of november -_-
I'm going to challenge myself this week to get more writing out!!!!! I have some ideas I want to work on... maybe I'll do my own mini 1000.... the next isn't scheduled until january...

I think this has the most links of any reporter. I've gotten into the habit of texting myself things during the week: articles, ideas, writing snippets so I can remember them for reporter. with basically a 3 week backlog it's no surprise LOL.
for whatever reason, my spacebar is acting up a little and I've found that the post writing, link adding editing has been a lot of fun today. I also got the random idea to somehow include a word count in the layout.. I need to get that template base number again. I'm at 3,444 words right now. I think it's like ~650 ish in the template? reporter has just been super fun tonight :)

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weekly reporter vol 35 | Page 1

on writing — current musings — dating and modeling — stats report — cultivation, curation, creation —

🖉 on writing

interesting article on is substack still a space for writers and readers. before I started writing reporter here, I was planning to write in public pursuit which was built around the three ideas I have below: cultivation, curation, and creation... I also had potentiality which was from a weekly check in project I was doing with a former friend. I didn't end up doing anything with either of them because I got cold feet, and never hit publish on anything I wrote. the drafts are documented here on dreamwidth. I had made a couple collages for one of the entries, and I remember working on the icons so they would be memorable. you can also see the zoomieyo through-line... ultimately I'm happier here- I like the relative obscurity of using dreamwidth as opposed to writing on a larger platform like substack. when I joined substack was a little more obscure than it is now, but I overwhelmed myself by subscribing to too many blogs that I don't really care to keep up with nor donate money too. there's some I do need to subscribe to: henrik's escaping flatland, which I reference often, and a handful of others..
on thursday I was doing some journaling before trivia and wrote:

"I'm drafting goals for the new year. I have them tagged as what bucket they fall under. and I come upon(tag it as?) 'writing' (in regards to reporter) and its like. what is writing? its more than just writing. lifes work? purpose? passion? idk how to describe it."

followed by the note

"does this go in on writing or reporter body"

~~so clearly it goes here.. anyway.~~ I think this is related to the ideas I talked about in encountering.. I have two or three essays I want to write.. one about the effects of caffeine, another about intentional learning... there's still that series of essays on coolness I want to write... I want to keep pushing the boundaries of my writing, keep pushing my own abilities and skills too.. I had some other direct I was gonna go with this, but I got a little caught up in the substack chatter above and I kinda forgot where I was going with the life purpose stuff.
it's probably related to drafting out goals, but I think it needs a separate post truthfully. there's like 2-4 more things I wanna reference in regards to goal setting, life direction, and such... see... more things to write! how fun!!! other interesting substacks on writing fast and writing personal essays

💭 current musings: journal changes

the hobonichi weeks (jan start) actually is a december start but I have yet to move over... I've been watching some really interesting journaling videos, and people on instagram are posting their cover decos. ngl I'm a little jealous I'm behind (I'm not) I just haven't gotten my 2026 plan together to be able to move... I really wanna utilize my hobonichi more this year, both as an art form and a planner.... I also have the avecs, but they don't start till january GYAHHH

👛 dating and modeling

mostly modeling for this go around. I love dressing up for the boat!! I unfortunately did not document that many outfits, but trust that they were truly beautiful. I also rocked some cute swimsuits in the surfer girl cutie style, and I bought a short sleeve wetsuit. it was on sale and SO CUTE!!!!!
other outfit highlights include the cozy girls night sweatpants and sweatshirt with fuzzy socks outfit. for trivia, I wore a black turtleneck that has some lacing on the side with my timberlands and a bunch of jewelry that everyone really loved. A. keeps telling me to go with the straight across bangs style so I need to schedule a bang trim because they're too long for me.
in future, I think I wanna make this artist date recaps and more fashion talk like today ^_^ I've decided dating is not a priority to me, but I'm open to it for the right person...

📊 stats report

— last weeks goals
☑ workout playlist
☑ homework
☑ drink more water

— 3 goals for the upcoming week
☐ finals!
☐ register for spring & law school application
☐ creatine & bcaa protocol.....
bonus! mini 1000 blogmas ?

curation
ideas revolving around documentation.... which is inherently curation in that I'm intentionally putting things into a collection... I think I need to revisit the old values and intentions I wrote a couple years ago, and the goals I wrote up this year... hmmm. blogging... vlogging? streaming? I've been itching to do something with video lately.

creation
been wanting to get back into pottery after seeing A.'s most recent haul. I love when we hang out and we get ideas for things and immediately go "I could make that" instead of buying it. I wanna make stuff!!! I miss making stuff!!!!
additionally, I want to use more kaomojis....

cultivation
"the process of trying to develop a quality or skill"
what do I want to grow or develop in the next year... I've been thinking about the many areas I want to work on... fitness, work, school, passions, writing.... hm hm. food for thought keeps bubbling up as I work on this... but where is the food for thought?
I want to cultivate some discipline and cultivate the skills to keep my room clean too -_-

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weekly reporter vol 35 | Page 2

Current Mood: calm

📰 weekly reporter

vol 34 week of october 11/09-11/15

r.e.p.o.r.t.e.r — media recap — editors recap—

— reflecting

I used to really look forward to the reflecting section of weekly reporter. I would have ongoing considerations and conversations with myself regarding current life happenings and the different trains of thoughts I would muse over every week. Lately, I haven't felt that as much. I think there was some aspect of rumination about these ongoing thoughts. I would have problems I need to work out, or thoughts to untangle..... but lately I noticed I haven't had the same desire to think something to the nth degree. I have some things that carry over week to week.. currently its end of the year planning, reflecting on what I did... but I don't feel like I have the same patterns of thought that I once did. I guess it's a little hard to explain.. I used to do voice logs and work problems out to myself via the voice log.. or I'd write about the same thing over and over again in my journal to myself... which I guess I did talk about on last week's reporter: I feel like I keep asking myself the same questions over and over. I still frequently ask myself "what do I want to do?" "How do I want it to be different?"
I'm not sure I have the answers for it yet....but I do feel like I've gotten much closer to them. I suppose I have this idea of living in the present.. living meaningfully... hu hu more ideas to roll around in my head.
All this to say, I think I've moved from ruminating about things.. to just not thinking about things... and so I guess the next step is to think positively about things... to then be able to look and reflect fondly on things.

— enjoying

cooler weather means warm layers, so I've gotten out my sweatpants and pullovers coordinates while I lounge around the house. It gets warm in the afternoons, so I haven't gotten my sweaters out quite yet. Warm afternoons, however, mean I can still drive around with the windows down as I head to class or back home.

— playing

I spent a lot of time playing around with a code I plan to post soon-ish?? I got the idea to make a fake html ticket as a concert recap post haha. I worked on it for like two days... I need to do some tweaking to it to get it to work right on mobile; it looks great on the desktop though!
the same status on my gachas... still haven't pulled for the idol banner, hardly touched the storylines.. I really prefer to play LADS on my ipad at home, but I've been coming home exhausted so I just do the dailies and then go to bed. I'd like to get back into it... I think if I read more card stories and get back into the main story (I'm terribly behind on it), I'll probably feel more excited? relatedly, it's mahoyakus 6th anniversary!!!! I should probably redownload it too and get in on the free pulls they do... I also really want to play wuwa? and maybe zzz again? might as well add HSR to that list too... I want to spend my time differently and actually play games again

— obsessing

Been thinking a lot about vlogging, microblogging, and just... having fun posting things? I have a close friends story I post a lot to, mostly outfit pictures, random memes, whatever song I'm currently obsessed with, the occasional hottie thirst trap, etc etc.... but I'd really like to extend the comfort I have here with blogging into other areas.. documenting life, trying out new things, recording memories for the sake of it? I will admit that a certain level of fame tempts me.... but I just want to have fun most of all.
kind of a wishy washy thing here.... but it's inspired by a tweet about artists using social media for you know. microblogging... media that they want to share socially... idk. maybe I should ruminate and reflect on this to figure out how to say it better.

— recommending

I Think Everyone Should Lift Weights (At Least A Little). my dad went and collected a bunch of pictures from us working out together and man. my arms have gotten huge since I first started like two years ago. I started with Couch to Barbell by Casey at She's a Beast. I had a great workout today (did an insane legs and back combo) and I'm feeling pretty tired but also very satisfied. I also hit the last PR I needed for my weightlifting goal, so I can lift 135 pounds (for multiple sets and multiple reps!) on the big three: squat, bench, and deadlift. yay!!!!

— treating

had an amazing girls dinner with A. the other night- we had pizza and cheesy bread, and then we went to this random cover band show that an old coworker of mine invited us to. my parents and I visited my brother at his apartment yesterday, and we ate at a great italian place. I had a stomboli there (yes. I really like pizza.....) and they had great rolls too!! we were all super happy with our meals. I also got pulled along on an adventure earlier this week, and was treated to a milkshake and a pretzel.

— encountering

my to do list is super long this week T_T I want to get a lot of my schoolwork done before I go on vacation at the end of this week (hooray!!!!!!) it wasn't looking so bad at the start of the week but then both professors decided that we needed more work to do.... I'll have to really lock in and get focused so I can get it all done.

— restoring

this week was one of the most anti restorative weeks I've had in a while truthfully. I stayed up late every night for one reason or another, skipped the gym like twice, felt so exhausted and was so exhausted that 1) dad Made me not go to the gym and 2) all my coworkers asked me what was wrong. I was grumpy two or three times this week too. so maybe that's why I wasn't reflective at all... no bandwidth to even be reflective....

🚢 cruise countdown: 6 days

media recap

📚 reading: poked around on this blog for a bit.. I particularly like the idea of exploring and unlearning personal bottlenecks.
📺 watching: while I was working on my ticket coding project earlier this week, I binged like 3 or 4 Willjum Rust LPs. My brother introduced me to willjum and well. I really like watching him play Rust. I like his particular style of video making because I can turn it on, and he is descriptive enough that I can do other things (usually coding) while I listen. he also posts long videos, so I can get a lot done. I think I coded reporter with him in the background too. I've definitely also cleaned my room and done laundry while his videos were playing. unrelatedly, we finished bad monkey yesterday evening!
🎵 listening: ANY MINUTE NOW by waterparks got released!!!! I heard it live at the concert and gyah. awsten is so talented. I do wish I had this song about 6 month earlier because it probably would have wrecked me more then? some extra reading on it. when parx posted this I was like wow. all my faves are making music about growing up. hyperyouth was about growing up and dancing... now parx with any minute now....? it feels so good to know I'm not the only one... girl how many of my blog posts are about this.... also JVB ANNOUCED ANOTHER TOUR!!!!! so I'm coordinating to try and see the St. Louis show AAAAAAAA in the same vein as stl... I'm trying to see bbno$ there too... but I kinda wanna go to the dallas show since its at the same venue parx was at.... GYAHHHHHHHH
🎮 playing: nothing of note... lads dailies... wanting to play more games as usual -u- I wish I had a cool playing... like playing bass again.. playing around with some fashion or something... hu hu huuuu

I should take the time to make a tbr list... post it here and see if I can actually cross some items off of it. I'm still trying to decide what book to take with me on the cruise too... orv or liu yao.... decisions decisions.....
it would probably be fun to also put like a coming soon section together maybe..?

📥 editors recap

feeling pretty tired... it's about 10:00 pm as I'm writing recap. I got a little distracted in the middle of writing reporter and played on my phone ahahaha. I don't really have a lot left to say- I think reporter got a lot of my current thoughts covered this time around? some days things don't fit neatly into the categories and other times they do... recap always looks a little weird if I don't write enough in here...

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weekly reporter vol 34 | Page 1

on writing — current musings — stats report — cultivation, curation, creation —

🖉 on writing

been pushing myself to write a little bit every day. I've been enjoying physically journaling and writing at least 3 pages! which is it's own little joy. that itchy feeling of wanting to write more is creeping up on me.. it really is so easy to do actually. and I know I enjoy it. so why do I deny myself that pleasure? I don't know what story I want to explore right now.. but I need to do something.

💭 current musings: end of the year

started to reflect on this year, and think about goals for next year.. and after today, I did achieve my weightlifting goal! some of my other goals were a little more vague/less goal completion focused.. but I'm overall happy with the year.. I'll want to do a proper recap post before the year ends.. maybe I'll also do a listening post BAHAHA. I think the recaps are so fun. and speaking of which! I rough drafted out a monthly recap addition for reporter, ripped from a layout I saw in a magazine. I actually need to write and test the code for it though...

👛 dating and modeling

thinking a lot about fashion lately... I got a cute pair of jeans at the mall, and I'm thinking about outfits to pack for the cruise.. our girls date had a slight fanciness to it..
I really love to dress up. I love to get put together and dolled up- fresh hair, dainty jewelry, nice makeup. I want to get a new pair of glasses.. something a little more chic. I like having my nails and eyebrows done too..

📊 stats report

— last weeks goals
☇ waterparks scrapbook page
☑ advising for classes
☒ get some rest (bedtime before 10pm)
---
I drafted the scrapbook page but didn't print out anything for it whoops. like I said in restoring I stayed up way late for various reasons... I did get my advising done because there was a friendsgiving event on thursday right before my class started and the advisor was there! It looks like I'll be graduating from the certificate part of this program, and I'll be taking 3 classes in the spring again...

— 3 goals for the upcoming week
☐ workout playlist
☐ homework
☐ drink more water

lots of work to do before I go on vacation.. in an ideal amazing world.. I get all homework done so I can just spend my vacation relaxing before I come back right into finals orz
I've been wanting to make a new workout playlist that has waterparks, jvb, and black pontiac. I want it to be both a shuffle and a listen in order kinda vibe? I'm thinking of leading with two black pontiac songs then into waterparks then into a couple jvb... IDK tho. its one of those that needs like careful selection, as silly as that sounds for a workout playlist.

curation
I've been looking at a lot of different journal ideas on pinterest.. journals and crafts and clay studios.. I want to make a new vision board for next year.. actually make some good goals and actually turn it into a cute vision board too.

creation
I really want to decorate my new hobonichis.. I want to make little spreads and use the stickers, washi tape, and other scraps I've been collecting to make something cute.. I also want to buy some more stickers.. I particularly really like the deco stickers.. and sticker sheets... there's also some hobonichi accessories I want to get too BAH

cultivation
saw this cute little idea on instagram where you send photo dumps on sunday as a recap of your week. so I got to send my first little sunday photo dump to A. today!! we found the video on tuesday, so we had just shy of a full week. A. had the CUTEST!!! photo dump. so I need to up my photo game this week so I can send back a cute one.

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Current Mood: curious

📰 weekly reporter

vol 33 week of october 11/02-11/08

r.e.p.o.r.t.e.r — media recap — editors recap—

— reflecting

wah wah wah all I do is think think think myself in circles. I feel bad I haven't responded to any comments, I need to reach out and not just read other peoples stuff.. I need to reach out to friends more in general really.... I feel like I get stuck talking about the same thing over and over in reporter every week... How much progress can you really make in a week? what are you doing/how are you spending your time every week.. what are your expectations for yourself that you are or aren't doing?
the new year is around the corner, the weather is getting cold, the days are so short now. all I do is ask questions without answering them... what are you doing really?

— enjoying

I scrapbooked the three weeks in october where I had a lot going on and I'm super happy with how the pages turned out. I say scrapbooked, but I did them in my weeks. I made a cool jvb concert page (I did not take enough pics), a halloween parties page, and a page for the hudson westbrook concert. I also planned the page for my waterparks concert- I'd really like to do a waterfall style insert for the setlist.. I think it would be cool to have all the album covers from the songs they played.

— playing

really dropped off on gaming again. I've been doing the bare minimum in lads again. I don't like whatever wandering story feature they have for the current mini game for the little extra chats? I like the little sidescroller mini game though.
I really wanna start playing bass again. seeing iDKHOW live again and being reminded of how cool bass is makes me want to learn some of their songs and just noodle around... maybe it's time to dig it out for a bit.... maybe I just practice some scales for a while... and then attempt iDKHOW and maybe honeycomb summer again.....

— obsessing

ok so I think this actually happened last week AND it fits better in playing BUT I didn't mention it AND i've been thinking about it all week so it counts as obsessing: neko atsume apparently has a VR version, so I asked my brother if he could bring it down when he visited (last weekend) and he left with with me.. but I haven't done anything to actually get it bc well. i dont even know where time has been going lately. but i want to play neko atsume vr.

— recommending

going to concerts. spending a little more to get a nicer hotel room. checking out jhariah and iDKHOW and waterparks. buying merch. living life as much as you can :)

— treating

I've had my eye on the exept belt and I finally got it!! I also got their little keychain too.
the hotel I stayed at had waffle machines, and one of them was texas shaped. so I made a texas shaped waffle before I got back on the road. crumbl's menu had a collab with martha stewart and mom had gotten those earlier this week so I got to enjoy the cookies all week and when we ran out she made some chocolate chip cookies too. dad was also out of town so we had filipino food! I've been really craving hibachi the last couple of days.....

— encountering

got a haircut earlier this week! I cut off a couple inches and had some bangs and layers cut in. I don't think I explained what I wanted very well and ended up with some curtainy-straight across bangs that still look good with my preferred part. don't get me wrong, its a cute haircut just not what I was expecting. I like both styles, but I already know I won't put in the effort to make the straight across bangs styled right- it's just taking a little heat and adding some oomf every morning.... but gyah... maybe this will force me to get up earlier to make them look cute haha

— restoring

skipped the gym all week!!! but I ended up still staying up late every night or one reason or another. went back to the gym today and had a great chest and tri workout!! also I took an outfit pic over the weekend before my concert and WOW. my arms have gotten huge HAHA.

🎸 waterparks new song: 5 days 🚢 cruise countdown: 13 days

media recap

📚 reading: kinda skimmed some newsletters... I don't think I read very much this week. found this article in my reminders about turning obsidian into a weekly magazine tho.
📺 watching: bad monkey on apple tv; my dad watched the first episode on his flight back in, and then made us watch it and we binged a bunch of episodes yesterday after I got back from dallas! its pretty funny and the plot is a twisty turny mystery.
🎵 listening: WATERPARKS!!!!! the prowler tour setlist was great!! jhariah and iDKHOW were amazing openers too!! there's this other album I want to check out but havent had a chance yet
🎮 playing: LADS... havent played hsr... when will I get my gaming spark back......

📥 editors recap

writing reporter tonight has been terrible because I don't even know what I did this week. work wasn't bad, class hasn't been too terrible either so idk where all the time went. on weeks like these I feel bad because reporter definitely suffers but you know we all have weeks like this. whatever, it'll get better!
so I'm maybe tempted to do a whole concert recap post now that I've speedrun my concert going for this year BAHAHA. but I saw my absolute favorite band for the third time on friday night!!! I drove down to dallas day of, got stuck in horrible traffic, made it into my hotel, got ready and then went to the show!! It was AWESOME!! played a ton of my favorite songs, teased two new ones, and I felt cute hehe. I wish I could go experience it again. there's a show in st louis I'd love to go to but GYAHHH... work.......

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weekly reporter vol 33 | Page 1

on writing — current musings — stats report — cultivation, curation, creation —

🖉 on writing

I'd really like to reincorporate a morning writing habit, but idk how to make it fit into my current morning routine. I get up early to go to the gym, then eat breakfast and get ready for work... I suppose....... if I'm not too busy at work I could get some writing in..... but I'd really rather not do that.... I don't mind the evening writing, but I'm so much more likely to skip (as evidenced by current circumstances) if I wait until the evening. I guess I could try writing a little during my lunch, but lately everyone has been very chatty to me in the break room. which isn't a bad thing, but also not conducive to writing. maybe I squeeze in a little here and there as much as I can? I'll ponder on this but I think I need to get back into the habit of daily writing.

💭 current musings: end of the year

ok before I get started on my current musing, totally unrelated, but after writing out the title I was reminded of a parx song called "end of the water (feel)" which was like the least streamed song off of intellectual property but its so good.
while I was procrastinating writing reporter this evening, I saw a little 26 before 2026 challenge on insta, sent it to a. with the caption "is there still time to do this or are we realistically too busy" and I'm torn because I so love a challenge (and it would be fun to report on it weekly) but also like. vacation in less than two weeks, then finals, plus holidays... so uhhh... should i be realistic or should I be delusional :)

📊 stats report

— last weeks goals
☒ lads idol boys polca
☇ do laundry -_-
☒ go for a run

explanation?????

okay so clearly I need to rework my goal setting during the week because I keep skipping them or doing other stuff. completely missed the polcos, but I haven't pulled for the lads cards, but instead I did some scrapbooking in my planner and had fun! I skipped the gym pretty much every day last week too. laundry all got washed, but I haven't put any of it away, so it's all folded in baskets.

— 3 goals for the upcoming week
☐ waterparks scrapbook page
☐ advising for classes
☐ get some rest (bedtime before 10pm)

random fitness chatter

so I was taking to j. about fitness the other day and I think for the next little bit, I'm gonna make sure that SBD are all 135 and then move into a mobility/calisthenics exploration? I'd still like to grow my glutes and legs a bit though.... too many goals as usual.

curation
I think I might look up some bass scales or something to practice on for warm ups.. I guess I could start with spider walks, but I'd like to be able to have something a little meatier to work on?
started picking outfits for our vacation in a couple weeks... now that I think about it, I'll have to post reporter early AND write one on vacation.. I guess I can future/back date... hm.

creation
I'm having a lot of fun with scrapbooking in the hobonichi. I'd like to try my hand at making some stickers at home though. I have too many cutesy stickers and not enough rock concert style stickers HAHA. I'd really just like to make stickers in general.. it would be fun for j.'s and I's pen pal project too.
I've been thinking about this for a long time, and especially more recently with my newest clay/ceramics pinterest board, but I'd like to 3d scan and make gifs of the pots I've made. I've given a couple to my grandparents, so those are gone, and my dad has claimed some for trinket collecting and I have some doing some trinket collecting buuut there is still enough to scan and turn into a cool series I think. idk where to start with this project so it might just sit on the backburner for a while.

cultivation
I might have found a layout for greenhouse dispatch that I want to try and code. I peek through the magazine/newspaper subscriptions at work and try to get inspo for reporter pretty frequently. I need to rough draft it out first though.
I'm wondering if I should move this unit up into where on writing and my current musings are... still thinking about reworking this page....

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Current Mood: contemplative

📰 weekly reporter

vol 32 week of october 10/25-11/01

r.e.p.o.r.t.e.r — media recap — editors recap—

— reflecting

so to try and make reporter more interesting, on wednesday, I was daydreaming up a draft for the greenhouse dispatch and started texting myself reminders for what I had read/looked at this week.
I'll talk about this a bit more in on writing, but I was thinking about nanowrimo, with it being november and all. It tickled my brain just right to get me thinking about how long I've been friends with j. we were on facetime anyway, and we tried to do the math and it's roughly ~15 or 16 years? we knew each other but weren't close and then we didn't even really get close until a little bit after we reconnected. it was fun to go back down memory lane though.
I want to do a monthly recap of some style but girl who already struggles to do weekly reporter and make it interesting....... help me brainstorm how to recap the month in a cool and interesting way that isn't already covered in reporter?

— enjoying

went to the hudson westbrook concert on halloween! it was a lot of fun!! we got lawn "seating" and why did everyone stay standing, please sit down for those of us lounging in the grass. I got invited to this concert and said yes despite not knowing any of this guy's music, so of course we had to check it out before the concert and I really liked him!! I guess? hes an up and coming country music guy. but I had fun and bought a shirt and a couple stickers. I'm not usually a merch person, but if they have stickers, I try to buy them for commemoration. buuuut. the last 3 concerts I've seen now I've bought shirts for. we will see if parkx has a cute enough shirt, I haven't really liked their designs from the other shows I went to.

— playing

I signed back into HSR yesterday right before the new update to claim the new dan heng yay. I also managed to somehow get abysm sovereign sylus in like 60-70 pulls. I feel bad that I don't like him more because he always comes home fast in pulls. I have not pulled for the new idol event but woooowaooo I love it. I need to play more of the story but the last few days have been too busy. I also finally read xaviers new myth where stars scatter and that shit had me ugly crying. it was so heartbreaking. I do think it suffers from some pacing issues.

— obsessing

hudson westbrook's discography.. not enough to make a hall of fame for him though. my favorites off texas forever are: texas forever, damn good taste in whiskey, dressed down, and hill I'll die on. other shout outs are weatherman, painted you pretty, and sober.

— recommending

hell yeah or no by derek sivers. I started reading this the other day when I couldn't focus and social media didn't have a grip on my attention span surprisingly. it's very good, and very easy to read. Its pretty similar to the way he writes on his website.

— treating

I took an exam on monday and got a 97 so I treated myself to a canes dinner afterward. also of course, halloween candy!!! we went and got a bunch of discounted candy today at the grocery store. at work we had our big quarterly meeting, and we had a bunch of yummy pastries too. I just realized I forgot to start the dishwasher at work before I left on friday. aw man.

— encountering

I hit a pr on squats today! I did 3 sets of 3 reps of 135 pounds!!! dad says I can do more, but that I'm too scared to do it. but squatting that much reignited my constant internal battle of: "do I train for powerlifting or do I train for bodybuilding," huuu... I love weightlifting and working out. I love how much it has changed my body and my strength. gyahhh!! I just wanna gush about working out I love it so much!!! it's such a wonderful positive thing in my life.

— restoring

while I did not do my laundry... I did get it sorted for easier doing later on this week. I also did a little tidy on one corner of my room, so I don't feel so overwhelmed. I think I probably need to do a serious room clean some point soon and actually make some space in here. I need to rearrange I think.

🎸 waterparks concert countdown: 6 days 🚢 cruise countdown: 20 days

media recap

📚 reading: hell yeah or no by derek sivers, she's a beast newsletter, started and did not finish simon sarris's newest newsletter
📺 watching: been watching bits and pieces of halo, as my parents are watching it in the living room. I didn't think that master chief had a personality but he does in the show. to be fair, I didn't really play halo except for when the boys wanted me to, and I think we still played in the sandbox mode.
🎵 listening: hudson westbrooks texas forever album and his self titled ep, listened to bbno$'s self titled album yesterday, and I'm still hooked on SPIRIT! and pain/ache/loving by hunny. double dare is having a birthday soon... so that will probably be on next week's reporter along with a concert recap.
🎮 playing: been more locked in on LADS, need to do my dailies for HSR... I saw a fancam?edit?idk what to call it short video? of some octopus lady from zzz... so maybe I go back to that too.

📥 editors recap

well well well. got my homework done in enough time that I can start reporter at a relatively reasonable time. I suppose if I had done my homework yesterday like I said... then I really could have started much earlier but whatever. its done and turned in, so its fine. I'm aiming to write 100 words here for pre-reporter warm up, which is being typed into a daily doc to be transported to editors a bit later. hm.. what else can I talk about here? I'm not sure yet.. would it be ok to cheese it a bit and just go ahead and get started on reporter instead?

^^^ I actually hit word count so I didn't have to cheese it. anyway. reporter is simultaneously detailed and not detailed enough prompt wise. blah blah history of reporter coming from insta blah blah, I just find myself wanting to overlap things more, or go onto random tangents within subsections.. and I suppose I have the right to do that since it's my blog and I'll do what I want. IDK. I don't even know where I was going with this complaint so let's drop it. I tried to say let's let it go but I thought that would look weird (and indeed it did!)
so much to talk about but I don't have good links between them like... here we go:
as I finished up media recap, I was thinking about that octopus chara from zzz and I remember thinking, "man, she might be cool to cosplay... ugh... I'd love to cosplay more in general actually" and that's the end of that thought, but now, since it's loosely linked to Doing Things in The Future we move onto thinking about goals and wanting to share about some writing I did yesterday, buuuuut I stop myself, since that actually fits LOVELY AND PERFECTLY into on writing on the second page. which means I should just jump over there and write it... but there's a certain pleasure in following the code I have written and scrolling down to the next section. regardless, I look away as I think all these things, and I see the 3 ring binders on my bookshelf, so I think, gyah, another project I want to work on! oh and there was that cool travelers into rings project that someone on instagram was posting about, and for some reason I thought that we started moving into hobonichi journals in novemeber??? but no, we moved into our new 2026 journals in decemeber. backtracking past that interruption of journal moving, I was looking at the love and trip travelers, which is in stock on their website and not on my preferred stationery shop (yoseka... my beloved) so.. the temptation presents itself. and of course, we all know I'm a shopholic making irresponsible financial decisions (not to the point of serious detriment, just a bit too much of a shopaholic) so then we Must bring up the hobonichi cart that is still waiting for me. sigh. let's take a breath shall we?

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weekly reporter vol 32 | Page 1

on writing — current musings — stats report — cultivation, curation, creation —

🖉 on writing

happy nano to those who still celebrate. I'm not planning on attempting 50k words, but I would like to write every day a little bit. I journaled about this a bit last night, and without nano, I wouldn't be who I am today. I discovered nano around 13/14? years old, and I already felt the calling to be a writer at that point, so I really thought that it was just the coolest thing ever. I'd tell myself I was going to do it every year and somehow it always snuck up on me. I think my best nano was documented on listography, and I had fun keep the word logging up. Now that I pretty regularly write, I'm sure I could do it? I've done a lot of practice with 1000 words of summer, the mini 1000's and here every week with reporter. the word count on obsidian shows that I'm already up to nearly 2,200 words, but a lot of that is the actual coding body. I keep meaning to see how much the code/structure body is on that word count. so I went and did it, and it's actually only 569 words. which is amazing to me. I was thinking that I could write the daily required 1,500 in about an hour maybe 2. but I guess I'm a little faster than that HAHAA! which feels pretty good. I also caught a typo in my code that I can fix now, so I won't have to fix it later, yay.

💭 current musings: research, business analytics, statistics

this tweet (bayesian calculations) and this tweet (coding & language aptitude) and my thursday night class have all got me wanting to get into more tech/science/research stuff. .... *small voice* girl in stem so. I need to talk to my advisor and see how hard it would be to switch to the BA mba instead of just a general one... maybe use coursera to start learning about research and stats more... sigh. do I go ahead and just fully commit to nerding out? law and business analytics? zee, can you not be such a badass helloo?
I think I also saw some astrology stuff that suggested that some planets could also be influencing my interest in science and tech. I want to learn more coding languages too. last thurs, we were using python in google colab and man. this shit is so cool. is it too late for me to get into tech. (its never too late to learn new skills.)

📊 stats report

— last weeks goals
▣ put together a pinboard
☒ journal about frustrations
☒ start vitamin regimen

— 3 goals for the upcoming week
☐ lads idol boys polca
☐ do laundry -_-
☐ go for a run

I feel like here could really benefit from like stats stuff. maybe i should do workout highlights. or health highlights. what do I even wanna track here week to week....

curation
I opened a bunch of pin mail the other day. I'm in two monthly pin clubs and they post the designs so I know what I'm getting, and I generally like the art so it's whatever if I opened them. but MANNNN. I forgot how much I loved pin collecting. I have some old boards I wanna hang up in my room and I wanna reboard a bunch of pins I have. I might get back into pin collecting and I might sell some of the pins that I'm not as invested in anymore. I need more people to make lads pins of charas that arent sylus and caleb....

creation
been thinking a lot about pottery again. there's a workshop I'm considering taking where you make your own pottery tool? I feel like while it's actually a woodworking class, it would be so so fun. I'm considering getting back into classes, or at least doing open studio so I can throw. I want to take a hand building class, and I'd love to take intermediate wheel, but it's on thursday :/ I was on pinterest looking at home studios and I just... I miss pottery so much bahhhh.

cultivation
huu huu how can I be cooler.... what projects do I want to work on... how should I design supplementary designs to reporter for monthly and greenhouse dispatches..... huu huu... what do I want to grow?? what do I want to manifest...
I don't have anything interesting to write for cultivation this time...

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Current Mood: working

📰 weekly reporter

vol 31 month of october 10/19-10/25

reflecting — enjoying — playing — obsessing — recommending — treating — encountering — restoring — media recap — editors recap—

— reflecting

had the thought: "I wish I was someone who does things, since I feel like I've become someone who doesn't do things anymore (as a result of feeling like I have nothing to report on-incorrect by the way).... maybe I should just rephrase it as 'oh I am someone who does things (the power of active voice, manifestation, woo woo something or other) or maybe.. I'm someone working on doing things.'" and this strange trail of thoughts and interruptions all happened while I was also actively thinking about doing my homework so instead I decided to detail it here. I had a convo with a. about screen time, and I've unfortunately gotten very lax with my screen time limits. especially in the last week, I've been playing on my phone entirely too much. i think this is part of the source of my bad mood this last week, as well as not eating enough, some life stress, and some work stress. I don't really like to share my bad moods with others (except for here, when I complain on reporter, or in the scribbles and misc tag) but that also means that I pull away... and apparently text different. a. called me out and lo and behold, talking about your feelings actually makes you feel better. anyway, let's loop back to my initial reflection.
I feel the creative gaping hole still. I spend too much time on my phone: 6h and 48m on avg for a whooping 47h and 39m for the week. how embarrassing. I'm sure I could also pull some garmin stats and connect some more dots with shitty sleep schedule and high stress too. it feels daunting with all the things I want to do honestly. I feel like I'm floundering and unfocused. I can't make a decision on what direction to go, which would be better than not making any decisions at all. what would I do differently? what do I want to do? really, I know the answers to these questions. I just don't do anything about them... because I've become lazy and someone who doesn't do things. it's really as simple as starting to do things again, right? blah blah, whats the smallest step you can take etc etc. but maybe that isn't creating enough momentum for it to sustain itself, so I should probably do something big to kickstart the direction, and see where it goes. sometimes things/habits fall into place after you commit to a direction, because then you have to course correct to keep up the momentum.

— enjoying

I took two walks this week during lunch since the weather was nice. With the weather getting cooler in the middle of the day, I might try to get some extra steps in with a 15 min walk after I eat. I'm also starting to notice that my legs are looking good!! I went to a couple halloween parties with a. and we took a ton of pictures (also fun) and noticed that my quads are starting to get some definition yay!

— playing

maybe the other reason I've been in a bad mood is that I have not been playing enough. I think I need to just put the phone away and start playing on my switch again before bed. (probably a bad idea for my sleep cycle) I just think I've been scrolling entirely too much and it's so easy to do when I have my phone in bed with me.
no gaming updates :c

— obsessing

my three year dream of dressing as an alien and painting myself green has finally come true!!!!! went to a monster themed party yesterday (which was SO FUN) and got a bunch of cute pictures and finally got to paint my body. it wasn't too hard to get the paint on, but i doooo kindaaaaaa wishhhhhhh thaaatttt maybeeeee I got to do more paint. but I also realized why some bodypainters wear what they wear in terms of minimizing having to paint. anyway, i need more excuses to do bodypaint bc it was actually soooo fun. for my other costume, I thrifted this strange long silky nightgown thing for $5. thank you wednesday sale ad. the people at the store told me that it might have a stain or a tear or a hole but I didn't seen anything on it (maybe it was missing a button but it didnt bother me) which is why it was $5. BUT the costume was samara/sadako from the ring. the theme of that party was horror movie characters!! for the most part people were like "what are you?" since its hard to socialize with your hair in your face. but once i pulled it all forward they'd go "oh! the girl from the ring!" or "that's scary!" so it went over well after.

— recommending

really enjoyed this newsletter. been watching a lot of reels from will burkart on instagram, but I also got distracted by this recipe when I went to go grab the link. a nice poem.

— treating

on my walks, I bought a little chocolate cake slice (it was only ok. 6/10 not chocolately enough) and a hot apple cider drink (i was very disappointed. it tasted like water 4/10.) I also got treated to a brownie cookie that was super good (7/10). at the horror movie party, I had some really good spiked punch and a tequila shot that was awesome (but needed salt). it was potluck style so I ate pizza, texas roadhouse rolls, and one of those softbaked cookies you can get from like walmart. at the monster party, they had a local taco food truck where I got an awesome chicken quesadilla. i did jello shots and had an okay margarita. i ended the night with a tiny cherry coke.

— encountering

I haven't really had an appetite this week and I've felt in the dumps. the weather got cooler and its starting to get darker earlier so I think it's time to get back on the vitamin regime. I also want to order some bcaas... maybe I'll try a different brand now that I think about it. I want to get back on the creatine/bcaa stack that I was doing around this time last year.

— restoring

I took a lot of rest days from the gym this week and hit some light cardio this morning. I also took a huge rainy day nap on saturday that was literally so awesome. I might have also found a new workout split I wanna start following!!!!

👽 breaking news: extraterrestrial woman tries local taco food truck.... says "it's good"

media recap

📚 reading: henrik karlsson newsletter. my physical copies of derek sivers books came in this week... mahoyaku had a huge translation masterlist update that I should probably use to catch up on....
📺 watching: just youtube let's plays... and more reels.....
🎵 listening: happy ten year anniversary to pain/ache/loving by hunny! still listening to jvb.... probably need to do some listening for the concert I'm going to on halloween.... been rolling around the idea of a workout playlist with black pontiac, jvb, and waterparks....
🎮 playing: considering getting the new pokemon game... saw that atelier ryza is getting a dx pack....... im pretty sure i missed abysm sovereign sylus in lads #whoops (just checked and I have 11hr lfg)

📥 editors recap

I currently have "Lula, I'm Not Mad" by HUNNY stuck in my head... anyway. let's talk about "increasing the surface area for luck"
I'm pretty sure I ripped this from somewhere... likely henrik karlsson? actually i went and looked and its simon sarris I think in either breadcrumbs or familiarity and belonging. but I thought it might have been in looking for alice. idk maybe its a combo of all of them. these are all also on the recommended reading for getting me. there's also some other text that I need to do some digging for (its on tumblr im pretty sure. (update: I could not find it on twitter or tumblr. i have no idea where it is... pinterest....???)) about not looking cool when youre on your phone. uhm but. this specific phrase has been occupying my mind since a convo with a. on 10.14 where I say "speaking about chaos... I keep thinking I need to do more interesting things in my life: 1) for reporter for the blog and 2) for our girls nights [like what? -a.] all kinds of random things... increasing the surface area for luck. that kinda stuff- living more. im afraid of doing that (posting about projects).. and then im like. if she can do it, why cant i?"
so then I sit and ruminate on it a while... and I don't know how to make the change? wordless thought got me really thinking about it... specifically the lines:

if you put words to distressing feelings, for example, the language-oriented parts of your brain inhibit the amygdala, which reduces the emotional distress.

it just makes me think of the recommendation of the artist way to do the 3 pages of stream of consciousness journaling, of mystery schools recommendation of a daily practice, of how I'm.... not really doing anything creative day to day. how I'm not dreaming of something bigger, or working on some project. I know there's seasons for everything but I just feel like I'm always dragging my feet on doing the stuff I want? I can easily work towards career goals, or school goals, or some external goal... but what do I do for my dream of the studio? or the little projects and dreams I have? the random tangents and experiments? how do I get myself to work on those in the downtime? how do I make it attractive and external and something to work on? is it even something I want? do I really just want to spend all my time on social media, passively scrolling? what else do I want to do instead? oh goodness this is so harsh but well. i guess I gotta get it out of my system. did this even make any sense.
please see this related tweet

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weekly reporter vol 31 | Page 1

should i make this section like page one of reporter and put what the contents are........ like this:
on writing — current musings — stats report — cultivation, curation, creation —

on writing

been considering getting back into the artist way to help kinda redevelop some structure and inject that idea of doing back into my life... also considering atomic habits because an artist i follow posted about it on his instagram story recently.

current musings: homework procrastination

you know that feeling when you get tired of laying around so you have to do something.... and theres something you should be doing (homework) but you dont wanna do that either... so you kinda wander around without doing anything. glad i squashed that by writing reporter tonight. the homework isnt hard its just annoying. after i finish up here I'll do my homework... and then pull for sylus.... T_T
update 10:30 pm: man. it only took me like an hour tops to get this homework done why did i put it off!!!!!!

📊 stats report

— last weeks goals
▣ homework (procrastined by writing reporter)
☑ costume for friday halloween party
☒ organize bathroom (made it messier by my halloween costume)

— 3 goals for the upcoming week
☐ put together a pinboard
☐ journal about frustrations
☐ start vitamin regimen

curation
i love pinterest. i went on a little deep dive on inspiration for the studio and while it kinda triggered that "what the hell am i doing why arent i working on anything" feeling, it also reminded me that i have the capacity to do things if i want to... that its possible. reminded me how much i love pottery and how much i miss doing it.

creation
i dont think i talked about this, but I really want to turn this little 3 ring binder I have into a travel notebook in my purse. my planner set doesnt really fit in there, and it's honestly inspired by these little binders but I think I wanna also put in one of my short blackwings or maybe get a little mini pen to clip on it. you dont look cool when youre on your phone.

cultivation
I think next year, I'd like to do some work in more techy spheres. I'd like to learn about blender, and the raspberry pi, and I'd really like to follow derek sivers guide to tech independence. I think I've hesitated on doing this because I still haven't built my pc >_<

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weekly reporter vol 31 | Page 2

Current Mood: frustrated

📰 weekly reporter

vol 30 month of october 10/01-10/18

reflecting — enjoying — playing — obsessing — recommending — treating — encountering — restoring — stats report — editors recap— on writing — media recap — current musings — cultivation, curation, creation —

media recap

📚 reading: kerrang! waterparks interview, consumer reports on protein powders (none of mine were tested), assorted newsletters in my email.....
📺 watching: entirely too many reels.
🎵 listening: I have a series of playlists called "hall of fame" for all my fave artists. I relistened to black pontiacs and waterparks, and then made one for jvb and hunny.
🎮 playing: lads, my ipad baby game,,,,, MINECRAFT!!!!

hu hu hu I need to do some real media consumption.... maybe I'll stop scrolling instagram if I do that. its not like my to be read/watch/played lists arent long..... gyahhhhhhhh

📥 editors recap

really trying to decide how I want to structure reporter tonight. editors recap first or reporter first? we have a lot to catch up on! I personally want to hop right into reporter and then do recap but I need to warm up writing first.....

ok. did whatever i wanted to do and dove right into reporter. so anywya lets get into recap :)
starting to think about goals for next year, wrapping up goals for this year, doing things differently and how to better spend my time. what am I looking for? what am I wanting to do? you know, the same questions I feel like I ask myself every week. I don't have a good answer right now. but I feel pulled in the direction of creating a more concrete identity for zoomieyo studio as a brand, as a concept, as a project. I keep seeing all kinds of things encouraging me to take that leap. maybe if I stop talking about it here, it'll unfold naturally. idk.
really considering making a recommended reading list for the blog. I internally reference a lot of different articles, blog posts, newsletters, that I feel are foundational to my current train of though. oh... some kind of title play on train of thought? anyway. how to do you get people up to speed on your identity or whatever the fuck youre talking about. how the interconnectedness of your thoughts creates current worldview & output etc etc. maybe its all silly.

💬 it would be so cool if this was a scrolling marquee... but what nonsense would i even put here

— reflecting

been getting a lot of compliments that "I'm smart" lately. and i was having a hard time with it because, I feel like a dumbass quite frequently. this was also prompted when I smacked my head into the barbell at the gym the other day because I wasn't paying any attention. ran my thoughts by my parents and my dad prompted back with "would your opinion change if they described you as intelligent instead?" and I'm not sure that it would? I suppose, I'm smart/intelligent, but I feel like theres 1) so many things that I don't know, 2) so many things for me still to learn, and 3) areas that I'm weak at, that I wonder if I am truly smart. I try my best to think about decisions, and weight them, rationalize them, etc etc.. maybe I shouldn't overthink it, and just take the compliment.
been wanting to get back into bass (due to my listening of hunny) and the challenge of learning something. explained the dream of the studio to a new friend recently, and wanted to actually develop its concept and create it a brand and a pitch. on the studio note, I saw a retail property that was so cute I wanted to turn it into the studio. Ideally, the studio would be both a physical space and a digital space, but I just know that I would have to go somewhere to actually get studio work done. I wouldn't really want it to be in my home... but close to it.

— enjoying

enjoying the weather MORE now that it's cooling off.
for the month of october, I've been chicken-sitting and it's convinced me that I could probably handle chickens if I wanted to. the house also has a garden with fresh veggies and I think in the spring (or late winter) I want to try my hand at growing some here at home. the chores arent that bad. its also kind of cool to watch the veggies grow, and then harvest them, and to collect the eggs everyday.

— playing

I Will Get Back Into HSR and ZZZ and LADS and MHYK !1!!!
i downloaded the updates for HSR and ZZZ... i want the new dan heng. maybe phainon will rerun too. i should also probably update genshin.... sigh....... i miss playing video games and being obsessed with them. I MISS BEING OBSESSED WITH LADS!!!!!!!
in true minecraft fashion, it has made it's quarterly resurgence. I need to get on and build out the idea for some treehouses. and probably look for some more building inspo too.
I've been skipping into work, and trying to smile at strangers, and make eye contact with people. i usually get to the parking deck at a time when no one else is coming in, so I usually sing a little and skip to the doors bc I have that Joy and Whimsy. if there's people around I don't sing though, mostly out of respect. I don't remember when I stopped looking people in the eye (I think it was while I was at the clothing retailer) but I kinda dislike not looking people in the eye? so in the same vein, I've also been trying to just look friendly as well by looking people in the eye and just having a smile on my face.

— obsessing

so the joey valence and brae concert was amazinggggggg. and now I'm actively planning waterparks in november. and potentially bbno$ in either dallas or st louis. i need all my weird strange artists to line up their shows better though. or please come closer,,,, i say that in reference to hunny, who I have decided to be obsessed with again after giving SPIRIT! a real listen. and black pontiac too.
i was gonna make a concert post but I am ridiculous and overthought it to death. maybe I'll still make it but tbh. theres not much to say. the setlist was amazing!!!!! i only wish they would have played RN, but that's off their first album but they surprisingly played a lot of punk tactics. the opener was good too. idk that they actually had a short concert, but it felt shorter?? maybe parx feels long because awsten talks a lot. anyway, jvb really puts on a show!!! they are just as good live, and man. the whole crowd gets amped its really great. I do wish I would have gotten a little closer to the front but that was not gonna be possible with the DRIVE GIRL. i got stuck in horrible traffic trying to get out there to fort worth and had like no time to get ready. but I was still cute so its FINE. all things considered, i would 1000000000% do it all over again. jvb will definitely be a band(? they arent't really a band but) i make an effort to see again.

— recommending

ive only had my moft magnetic tripod for 2 days but ITS SO GREAT AHAHAA. i got mine off amazon and im super happy with it. ive been using it to take seflies.
be self obsessed. idk that I've talked about it very much. but I am horribly vain and self obsessed. but I've worked hard to be this cool and good looking (muscle wise, style wise, as I was blessed with lovely genetics). cant help that I'm literally the coolest person around. #sorrynotsorry

— treating

NURRI PROTEIN MILKSHAKES MY BELOVED!!!! we finally went to sams and I got more shakes so now I will be making my nurri and matcha protein shakes before work.
went out for lunch on friday and had a lovely dumpling meal, then we went out to chuys for dinner and had tres leche cake. i also got a ridiculous shirt.

— encountering

I've been trying to dress up a little more at work. I am unhappy that my coworkers keep asking why I am so dressed up when I put on a little make-up and jewelry. first they say "wow you look really cute!" and then immediately "do you have a date?" of course, this is slightly a problem I created... in that I admit I do like to dress up for dates!!!! but that is not relevant!!! I can dress up whenever and for whatever I want. plus. most of the time, I'm in JEANS. literally on friday, I had jeans, a tank top bodysuit, and sneakers on. since its work, I had to dress it up with a blazer (to cover my shoulders), and jewelry (to hide from the low neckline and my ponytail). the makeup was just extra since I had the time. but man it was really hitting on friday, and I was feeling it BAHAHAHA. as I went out to lunch I got complimented TWICE on my walk, and then someone at the restaurant complimented my bag.

— restoring

SLEEP!!!!!!! I've been trying to get more sleep. there's been like two or three nights where I've gotten like 9 hours of sleep and wow. the difference it makes.
also been trying to be more gentle with myself so idk what productivity is anymore!!! i just wanna have fun!!!!!!!!!!!1

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weekly reporter vol 30 | Page 1

"being easily laughable is soooo funnnnnn. everyones like. that wasnt even funny. like okay whatever. im the most joyous one here" -shell @shellerina_ (found via tumblr post)

on writing

idk what i wanna write, i dunno how to incorporate writing into my routine... im just lost on writing. ig i should just try to start a string of writing again but bagsdjgkldfjsdlfsd

current musings: revamping reporter page 2

so I moved reporter around a bit yay!! i need to go through and trouble shoot test, and then I need to update the layout in obsidian... i also restructured this section to be a bit more like the reporter section html wise. I think it actually makes more sense for this to be one big chunk divided up as opposed to all the divs I had before. I think that eventually, reporter needs to be the first one again and then editors recap at the bottom with media recap next to it. idk. i think that page two still needs some tweaking media wise...
i should also probably restructure the section down below to match the columns like on page one but blagh. those gave me so much trouble for the longest all because I would forget semicolons.

PENDING: dating and modeling

thanks b. for the idea for this section LOL. idk if i'll actually turn it into a recurring entry on reporter, but it could be fun to have an ootw section since im a shopaholic. or just whatever current fashion obsessions I have. ig raw/selvedge denim is a trending topic rn because i keep seeing stuff about it. i saw a twitter post about how jeans used to wear out depending on the creasing or whatever and someone posted something from reddit about dick prints in jeans and i. in my strange brain was like. #needthat but in a more sexy and more nuanced way. i have no idea how to explain what look im going for with them but who cares.

📊 stats report

— 3 goals for the upcoming week
☐ homework
☐ costume for friday halloween party
☐ organize bathroom

—productivity.... i felt like this section was gonna look sad if i didnt include some kind of commentary here. idk maybe i should try to read a book this week too. im considering restarting the artists way... maybe i should read before bed. or get my library card. idk. i feel lost about stuff again. how to be cool... what do i want to do differently?

curation
I'm sorry there's no links on the first posting of this. im too tired to wrangle everything up.
thinking about my toybox... all the gear i use... wanting to catalog all the stuff i have... wanting to make stuff on the wheel again... sigh
I now understand why newspapers have volumes vs numbers. in the new year... ill update it to reflect volume 3 (? however many years ive been doing this) and then number will reflect the number of reporters... or maybe the week its posted?

creation
still a big gaping hole because I'm not creating. idk what the tension point is-maybe that I'm actually insanely busy??? grad school and a full time job and a social life too somehow. seasons for everything i guess???? but i still want to create more. was scrolling on pinterest last night and wanted to take a handbuilding class, missing wheel throwing, thinking about noodling on bass again... writing always on my mind.

cultivation
something something about skills and challenges... wanna do so much in the gym. hit a pr on flat dumbbell presses today! i did 45 lbs in each hand for 5 reps. all clean too. im pretty consistently moving 40/45 lbs in big groups (chest, back, legs) and slowly creeping into the 30s on arms. i think my shoulders are also surprisingly in the 35/40 zone too. always feel torn on what to do fitness wise. need to do some more runs, or train for a 5k or something
I need to put some serious thought into what im doing, what im working on, how i want to do it. i probably gotta get a good system in place to get it all done.

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weekly reporter vol 30 | Page 2

Current Mood: busy

📰 weekly reporter

vol 29 week of 09/21-09/27

📊 stats report

— 3 goals for the upcoming week
☐ draft workout splits
☐ write every day
☐ do laundry

stats report transformation?

I always tried to include goals in 3 areas: health, productivity, and creativity. I had some fleeting thought about this earlier and how I should maybe expand on this more on page two... basically restructure the 3 boxes to focus on each and talk about the progress made. as I'm writing this out the idea is really taking shape: greenhouse dispatch on page 2 with a focus on the weekly goals where I talk about them a little bit more at length.... hmmm... pondering.

📥 editors recap

so editors recap is structured first but tonight I wrote it last. this doc is sitting at about 2,590 words (not sure how much of that is structural though). anyway. I want to get back into this! so here we are before I started, I had a warm up brain dump of about 400 words and some change. in it, I talked about how I feel like I keep repeating the same thing over and over with no action. I've been musing on this idea a while, and really I should have included it in reflecting too. later on in this post, I talk about revamping reporter too. there's also the idea of transmuting thoughts into essays... so I will attempt that now.

I'm kind of struggling with who I am and what I'm doing. I have a good job, I'm in grad school, I have a good social network and I'm close with my family... but I always feel like something is missing. theres a weird emptiness I feel in the hobby, personal development, creativity spheres that I know is creating my own personal brand, and developing my dream of zoomieyo studio into something more than just a collection of ideas. weekly reporter was my first attempt at grasping it. I'm finding myself becoming increasingly more frustrated that I haven't created a name for myself, in terms of art making/personal business. I want zoomieyo studio to be an embodiment of the collection of hobbies and interests I have. I want to explore freely all of the different ideas that bubble up. I want it to be both physical and digital- an impact that I make on world, no matter how small. sometimes I feel like, at the end of the day, I just want to be able to go to a place and create something just for me. if it inspires others, thats wonderful... but I want to use zoomieyo studio as the vehicle for following my passions. I don't know how to help other people- so it feels like a selfish wish. I want to continue to create and do things, and share things with others, so that I may fill that hole in regards to my own identity.
I felt possessed writing that. but well. thats the current dream. I hadn't really taken the time to write it out and address it but here we are. I hope I can have your support :) welcome to the weekly reporter, the creative dispatch from zoomieyo studio.

in a completely different train of thought, there's so many things I want to do. I found a cool newsletter template on pinterest and promptly followed the patreon. I really enjoyed reading these two newsletters earlier today too. I want to get back into reading and read more books. I'd like to take myself out to the theatre and see a movie on a big screen again soon. I wanna do some album deep dives, when I finally get over my current fixation. I like that I saved this for last, its like a link dump of all the things I forgot to include and a preview of the stuff to come for those of you reading.
I don't know how not to write for an imaginary audience, but how I do I break out of the looping thoughts.. well. I guess I just write and write until it works itself out. it feels like the turning over of a new leaf.

💬 ☾⋆˚࿔ thinking a lot about manifestation and law of attraction but then saw this tweet what a message.....

— reflecting

well well well look whats back :party emoji: the only way out is through so I'm pushing myself to get back into this habit! it also helps I have minimal homework this weekend!
I talked about this in my rambling post, but I challenged myself to do 10 one-mile runs for the month of september. I completed my last one today! I kinda wanna do a "what I learned about running" post including my stats for the 10 runs, and some general thoughts. I have a weird quad pain on my left leg (I think its actually a knee stability issue) but it only shows up after I run. I usually nurse it with a hot bath.

— enjoying

the weather has been nice enough in the morning that I can roll into work with my music blasting through the open windows, and leave work blasting my music through the open windows. the only downside is driving with the windows down is making my hair super greasy, but I've been remedying it with a leave in conditioner added to my usual haircare routine. I like this time of year, when you need a jacket in the morning, but not in the afternoon. so on that styling note, I've really been loving plain ass tshirts and jeans combo, with a light little jacket over it and sneakers. its a touch too casual to wear every day to work though, so I usually save it for fridays. I also have this little heart shaped choker/necklace that I've been pairing with some simple silver hoops.

— playing

surprise surprise I actually have been playing nothing. I've been bare minimuming LADS, but I need to get back into it especially with that delicious myth zayne has going on. an old friend of mine got into it, so maybe it will reinfect me.
on my wishlist to play though is the two new atelier games (yumia and relserina?) and hades 2. I've seen one review that relserina looks a little weird on switch but I still want to play it. I didn't play the beta for hades 2 and i think I'm pretty unspoiled for it surprisingly. this also looks cool.

— obsessing

JOEY VALENCE AND BRAE ON REPEATTTTTT. I really want to go to their fort worth concert but it's in the middle of the week. I technically have the time off approved... but I need to buy my tickets and hotel room woof. this will be baby's first solo concert, and little overnight trip (much to my parents dismay) so I think that's why I'm hesitating. jvb has been on repeat all month and most of august since their new album HYPERYOUTH came out. its such fun and upbeat music it has me OBSESSED!!!!!!
I got my hobonichi order too!! I missed a set of pens I wanted (jan-jun set) and they restocked but they wont be shipped till december so I'm dancing around another order... I got almost everything I wanted in the first go... so now I'm like do I really need this stuff? but with shipping and tariffs... I might as well splurge..... this is a horrible mindset.

— recommending

my best friend j. and I decided to do a penpal project and while I need to write a reply back... I recommend it!! (I'll penpal with you if you want!!) I go a little overboard and do the instagram style crazy art spreads but its fun to have to wait in the mail, and make little crafts.
can I recommend running... or at least sticking through on a self set challenge!!

— treating

went out to lunch with intern a. on friday and then I was dressed in my jeans and tshirt outfit and jewelry so I did a little shopping after work. we had this awesome argentinian restaurant for lunch and walked over there while enjoying the weather. for my shopping trip, i wandered around barnes and noble for a bit, bought an oreo cheesecake at their cafe and then went to anthropology where they had an additional 50% off of their clearance stuff. I've been wanting to try styling my hair more (and putting more effort into my day to day look) so I got some cheap clips to help part my hair (which is a nightmare experience, because its long and thick), got a cute little cami and underwear set (this was actually not on sale but its so cute and comfy), and some super discounted sunscreen by supergoop.

— encountering

Its time to lock in and really clean my room. it gets dirty (lots of clothes and clutter around) super fast, and I think it's wearing me down. I saw this tweet and it kinda clicked that the mess in my room is running in the background of my brain. I haven't had a dedicated space to write either, so I don't want to. I dont have a dedicated space to craft, so I dont. so I really need to get into gear and get this room cleaned up, if at least for the peace of mind of not always having to do this. I think I need to get some organizers and I probably need to go through all my things.. but I won't overcomplicate it too much. first things first is to just get everything a home, and not have so much visual clutter.
there's something else tickling the back of my mind- I pushed it away to finish my thoughts on the above, but now I dunno what it is.

— restoring

I still havent written up a work out split that works for me.. but I've been doing more leg days by following routines on instagram. this is very fulfilling in that I focused super hard on upper body because I had no upper body strength.
some days are good and some days are bad in that I've been trying to eat more. I started tracking a little bit and found that I wasn't actually eating enough. so I've just been trying to eat more but man its So Hard. I probably need to do more shakes honestly.

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weekly reporter vol 29 | Page 1

"reminder that you genuinely have to take this attitude to have any success- If you actually desire you will take action. No action, no desire." x
something I've been thinking about a lot. sigh.... I need to transmute thoughts into more essays I think.

on writing

I include on writing like there's something to report. LOL. I guess I can talk about the scribbles piece and reporter. looking at my obsidian sidebar... I wrote 5 times on obsidian, 6 times in the hobonichi, and 7 times in the journal. not actually bad stats now that I look at it. a little over half of the month. I want to get back into daily journaling... but I also want to go back to writing in general... gyah. I'm currently inspired by this 90 day writing challenge and the related notion page. maybe I'll try to do bite sized again, and journal as much as I can?

current musings: money

shopping addiction and related wishlists since all I do is think about the shit I wanna buy. another wishlist blurb:
custom built pc, nice hair dryer set, gym duffle bag, ninja creami swirl, pepper shopping cart, hobonichi shopping cart, pompompurin cooking rement gacha boxes, a couple pairs of sexier jeans, a fancy strawberry perfume... GOD!!! CANT I NOT THINK ABOUT SHOPPING !!!!!!!

current musings: revamping reporter page 2

so continuing off of stats report... I'm thinking of swapping stats report to the second page with media recap on page 1. then revamping these boxes and the quote box... and maybe even the three c's down below. those go up here and the random columns move down there? or I cut the boxes entirely and give on writing a bigger box? I can't look at the html easily on obsidian if I want to revamp it. I do think it's probably the touch I need to fix up this second page. I don't think the quote is working in my favor. and now that I'm writing all this I wanted to talk about dating somewhere in this weeks reporter. oh. there's also something something greenhouse dispatch too. page 3 in the works....? it could be fun to make a modified cover page, with page 2 being the regular reporter, then page 3 being whatever I turn this into/greenhouse dispatch... considerations considerations.
coming back to this I think the appeal of the current layout is enough. I don't need to make a cover page. the two page click is already cute enough.

media recap

📚 reading: went to the bookstore and stopped myself from buying book one of lout of the counts family. no more buying until I finish the books I have!!! (looking at stars of chaos, coins of destiny, husky and white cat, etc.....)
📺 watching: watched dracula untold (2014) last night. part of caddyshack (1980) and part of ferris buellers day off (1986) today
🎵 listening: JVB!!!!!!!!!!!!! its pretty much either HYPERYOUTH album or this playlist. honorable mention goes to "if lyrics were confidential" by waterparks
🎮 playing: LAME!!!!! ad games on my ipad like IM AN IPAD BABY!!!!!! theres this stupid tower defense one that I like and another puzzle one where you flip hexagons... LADs in the weakest way possible...

curation
I miiiiiiight want to make one of those little curriculums that are popular on tiktok right now. and I've been wanting to get into commonplacing in the back of my hobonichi. both of these feel vaguely creative though... so I'm having hard time placing them here or next door. anyway. I've been watching a bunch of different videos. I'm also really inspired by filo fax setups and this newsletter on having an analog fall. so planner and a better media diet for fall and some kind of curated learning... yes please!

creation
there's a big gaping hole in my chest where I haven't been creating... but I feel like I've pretty much complained about this already so. idk. committing to writing again. having fun making stuff again. I think I wanna make videos more too.

cultivation
ok ok i will talk about dating here. dating makes me feel like a crazy person. I know I wanna have a husband and a family but like. I hate the dating apps. I wanna meet some serendipitously. I just wanna have fun. and I think I'm going back to not worrying about it. just letting it happen when it will. I need to breadcrumb and put myself out there so I can actually serendipitously find someone. plus im too busy anyway to date someone.

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weekly reporter vol 29 | Page 2

Current Mood: happy

I didn't wanna write a whole reporter (cuz i've been down in the dumps writing wise) but then I remembered by beloved #scribbles tag so heres like 2.4k of rambling. enjoyyyyy.

( misc scribbles )

Current Mood: contemplative

well well well. where did august go? where did I go?
( Read more... )

Current Mood: frustrated

📰 weekly reporter

vol 28 week of 07/27-08/09

📊 stats report

last week

?????????

— 3 goals for the upcoming week
☐ ??????
☐ ??????????
☐ ????????????

not really feeling stats report.... maybe I should swap with media recap? I think I need to revamp this... especially if I'm doing biweekly reporters instead.....

📥 editors recap

hello again bi-weekly reporter. been feeling very restless and silly and very very non-writey lately so forgive me for not posting or replying to comments much. I can't believe it's already nearly the middle of august, 4 days from my birthday.... what do you mean we are already at the midpoint of august, and past the midpoint of the year. sigh. i feel like ive been so flaky on everything. i feel torn in so many directions. im not sure where to start or what to do. things havent been bad at all, but I don't think I can really say that I've been present. fall classes start soon, i need to get into the focus of really studying for the lsat again. i want to focus. i want to outline some goals, get a plan together. but im not sure how to explain everything I want to do. im not sure what direction to go in. this is the initial hurdle right? so how do you talk about what you wanna do. i guess it's also kind of my classic excuse making so uhm.. maybe thats the first hurdle really. anyway. ive gone off on a woe is me kinda tangent. honestly im just making excuses and being lazy. i have ideas that i havent done anything with and ..... sigh. sometimes you start to write something and then you get it off your chest or you work out your problem.. and i'm kind of just like. huh. wow. im full of bullshit. i go on and on about oh i dont know what i wanna do but really i do. im just being lazy and not wanting to admit that instead of working on stuff.. id rather just sit on the couch and do the easy thing .... scrolling twitter, playing stupid games on my phone, etc etc.
🔝

💬 note to self: respond to comments this week.....

— reflecting

been having a consistent crisis of "what am I doing?"
asked my dad about it, and he said that I should just enjoy the time that I'm in right now. a handful of days before my birthday, and a handful of days before school starts. I'm working, working on my degrees, there's actions and plans to be set into motion... but I still feel this strange hollowness. its that lack of creativity most importantly, but I don't know how to talk about it. maybe I should worry less about it... and figure out how to fill that little void it's created. maybe its not an output problem? maybe it actually is an input problem. i'm thinking of data analysis- bad data means bad analysis. trash in, trash out- maybe there's a lack of resources to draw from. maybe I need to read more, watch more, play more games. and it will resolve itself. endless media scrolling and ad riddled games makes for a boring zee indeed...?

— enjoying

as the fall semester approaches, ive been trying to use my planner more. ive done a little bit of journaling in the blank pages in the back, and been jotting down things that have happened during the week on the weeklies. i did a little collage insert the other day too.
i love driving in my new car. the experience is just, so pleasant.

— playing

our little pack of pets (3 small dogs, and a cat) have been making me laugh so hard lately. their personalities are all so nutty and man. our pets are just too cute.
LADS: well I got KoD companion but with his messed up kit, I didn't go for more. new beach banner will start on tuesday and i seem to be the only person who likes the tiny swim shorts they put the boys in. the fandom on twitter has been insufferable as usual. i'm tired of looking at it. there's apparently going to be a boycott on the cn side on this quint banner bc of xaviers messed up kit and there's also a lawsuit regarding it. others complained about rafayel getting bridal carried by mc in the quint preview. then there's the usual "its not f2p friendly" with a ton of new outfits being added to the lunar shop (this isn't a paid shop exactly, but it requires ranking up/getting dupes of 5 stars. i do agree on this it fucking sucks.) anyway. fandom drama aside.
i havent read xaviers new myth because i heard its heartbreaking. i also havent read his lightseeker myth and there's some spoilers/timeliney stuff so I was thinking... hm. when do I want to experience this angst? I've actually terribly behind on cards and main story right now.

— obsessing

I've had nothing occupying my thoughts. except like. negative obsessing as expressed in both editors recap and reflecting.
ok actually maybe a little bit about love and yearning and relationships and friendships.... but I dont wanna get into that. there's also like: "this is the youngest I'll ever be" fomo going on and this sums up how I'm feeling about it.

— recommending

simon sarris does office hours over on twitter and I really liked this reply: "with the internet you have an *infinite* surface area to put yourself out there, and you're not doing it. No one can find you. Where is the YOU?"
related to page two topic: some level of internet fame this "career advice" got me thinking on how i could........ tie it into zoomieyo studio
editors recap was pulled from a 500 word warm up I did and I cut out a segment kinda talking about being "performative"
maybe I just need a project, and I should just do things and I'll get out of my being stuck.

— treating

been craving raising canes and bubble tea... so during my mall browsing yesterday I got both. I'm on the hunt for cool sticker sheets and stuff for my planner... and future decos.

— encountering

at a weird place with my fitness right now. I'm kind of considering a couple different things: zumba certification (just for fun) and entering a body building competition. I finally!!!!!! hit my goal of bench pressing 135 pounds so now I'm in a "what now" kind of situation.
I probably need to find/build some plans: new weight lifting goals, mobility/flexibility routines, macro and food habits... source some coaches for bodybuilding.... sigh.

— restoring

really wanted to be outside today. felt super listless all afternoon, so I helped my dad diy take off the bubbling tint on my brothers car. I was a junior helper so I got to just sit and enjoy the heat some.

▸ continued on page 2

weekly reporter vol 28 | Page 1

"It is August. My life is going to change, I feel it" - Raymond Carver

some level of internet fame

coolness theory drafting
I really want to be cool. part of it is performative, and part of it is a genuine wanting to do stuff. I've been sitting on this essay idea for a while now, and it's really been at the forefront of my mind for the last couple of days.
I've come to the conclusion, that right now, I wish I had... more of an audience of sorts? I think about becoming a streamer, or doing some kind of themed account on instagram (ive toyed with the idea of fitness/bodybuilding ;~; ) or just. doing something focused on growing and maintaining interactions. it feels so icky to admit that it's something I want honestly. theres a part of me thats a little ashamed that I too want attention and a little fame. I had a moment last week with some friends, where I was pretty embarrassed- but I made a joke saying that I love to entertain. it was the truth though. there is an aspect of Posting that I do actually really enjoy. and while this rears its head, there's also an aspect that I want to explore in the coolness theory essays revolving around the core ideas that influence my declaration? subjection? determination of when something/someone is or isn't cool.
in my mind, I'm not cool enough. I don't have a committed practice that I follow (depth), nor do I follow through/pursue the variety (width) of things that I've started... which all culminates in a lack of cool (doing the work).
for a long time, I've daydreamed about the idea of being an internet personality of sorts.. I just. don't know how big. would it be enough to do the work, or do I want to make money off of it (the answer to both, is yes.) but there's guilt and shame in wanting that. I haven't dug into it to be able to enunciate why.

on writing

technicalities, function, and performance I haven't thought about writing for two weeks. which 1. makes me feel like the fakest writer ever and 2. writing still wove it's way into my thoughts
there have been a handful of mornings within the last two weeks where I woke up before my alarm and thought "oh yeah I should use this time to get back into morning pages" and instead rolled over and laid there, guilty, until my alarm went off. I really feel like I've lost my writing spark. I know I've been spending too much time on the internet, mindlessly scrolling, or playing ridiculous ad-filled games on my ipad...
I can't seem to keep up a writing streak. there's plenty of prompts out there, and hell, I was a long time journaler in the stream of consciousness/morning pages camp. I'm not sure how to resolve this yet. I'm sure it is as simple as doing the work. forcing myself to sit down and write, no matter the mood. words on page, good job. maybe I need that little circle reminder: get it done, you can make it better later. or whatever the quote is.

current musings: wishlist

I currently have four shopping carts: jetpens, glossier, barehands, and pepper. for whatever reason, I can't get myself to pull the trigger on finishing them out. the one I think I want the most is the jetpens order, which has my preferred pencils in it and a silly little bag that matches last years hobonichi. speaking of hobonichi, I'm looking forward to the new designs for next years planners.
other current wishlist items include.... the pc that I want to build -_- and when I get the restock notif (likely sometime in december T-T ) a fancy pencil case pouch.

media recap

📚 reading: -
📺 watching: -
🎵 listening: been hardcore obsessed with my wack ass august playlist cw: bbno$ and joey valence and brae, with a sprinkle of kpop? (is katseye and strategy from KPDH even considered kpop) yeah idk man its a weird playlist I'm so sorry if you listen to it.
🎮 playing: LADS as usual

maybe it IS time to fill the cup and check out some media for once.

curation
reminder to self: PLEASE UPDATE THIS TEMPLATE IN OBSIDIAN GIRL. stop making it so hard. every reporter I fight with it.
ok so the quote at the top of this page i saw out of context but looking at the larger piece its from (which I usually do when I use them for quotes) blew me away. i might need to check out more of mr. carters work. maybe I should memorize it for the monologue i've been wanting to learn :0

creation
since I've been obsessed with bbno$ music I made a dumbass bbno$ on board sticker that I need to refine. I don't know why I got obsessed with his music for the last two weeks but here we are.

cultivation
thinking about the greenhouse and digital gardens and how I can make reporter cooler for future editions.

▸ continued from page 1

weekly reporter vol 28 | Page 2

Current Mood: frustrated

trying to build a pc makes me feel so crazy. ive been wanting to do it for years now. but i wanna understand and say why and what pieces i bought. i dont just wanna follow some parts list that someone made for me. i dunno how to ask the questions that i need answers too. GYAHHHH IM SO FRUSTRATED!!!!!! like what specs and why. how do you pick. how do you understand this. i wanna build a rig for gaming, streaming, and maybeeeee vtubing? or hell i wanna try my hand at blender too. HOW DO I PICK T_T

amd vs intel (leaning towards amd) dksndksjsosjdkdjdj

i dont wanna watch videos (id prefer to read guides) but im at the point where i just dont know anymore. none of the guides are telling me what i need to know to make a decision. sigh. the tribulations of being a ridiculous person <3

Current Mood: frustrated
Current Location: living in the forums

it's national cheesecake day! in honor of it, i went back and found all my entries for a cheesecake review challenge I did two years ago.

whole foods mini cheesecake

rating: 4.5 / 10
notes: the cheesecake that started cheesecake review! i bought one on a whim and then went on a multi message rant about how cheesecakes need a crust... after that rant, i decided i needed to start a weekly cheesecake review.. i do remember being very mad and rating it low because it had no crust but it gained like half a point back because it was really cheap.

barnes and noble original cheesecake

rating: 6/10
notes: bn uses cheesecake factory for their cheesecakes! this one is my usual weekly go to- i like the fluffiness and crust consistency, if not the crust being a bit thin. todays is especially pleasant as it's fresher than usual! its also the cheapest of the cheesecake selections they have, and the member discount is a nice addition! overall, a solid cheesecake.
date: feb. 21 2023

fathers table brand cheesecake from food giant

rating: 5.5/10
notes: ok when we got home it was still frozen and i might of left my pieces out too long but theres a flavour to this cheesecake that is not unpleasant but not pleasant either. it feels very mid overall. extra half point for having a good crust however. texture is good, if a little soft, but i did leave it out so it wasnt a frozen brick. probably would buy again though for the price- $8ish? if i remember correctly. would not buy a bigger one however. size wise slice is tiny, but i got more than buying at b&n
date: feb. 23 2023

four inch vanilla cheesecake from [local cheesecake place]

rating: 10/10
notes: deliciously sticky filling with the perfect amount of vanillay sweetness. crust has a lovely crumble and the right crunch-chewy ratio. a bit on the pricey side at 8.85 but i can get two servings out of this. this is most definitely worth the 8.85!! support a local owned business! i will 100% stop by again and try their other flavors- they have a softserve option i want to try this summer. also their shop is super cute!!! service was super friendly and helpful too :)
date: feb. 28 2023

[local bakery] original with jam!!!

rating: 10/10
notes: such a lovely fluffy cheesecake. great density, great crust. ive eaten it with and without jam and i think with is preferable!! the sweetness of the ham with a lemony frosting and vanilla flavor in the cake itself. crust has a fantastic crumble, and is more neutral than sweet. but its a good complement to the overall taste profile. the baked outside edge is also delicious and lovely. overall a wonderful cheesecake and one of my local favorites
date: mar. 15 2023

[local baker at local coffee shop] key lime cheesecake

rating: 8.5/10
notes: lovely take on both cheesecake and key lime pie! appropriately flavored- the right blend of tart and sweet. inner cream texture is a bit thick for my liking, but it is a blend cheesecake/pie.. so an acceptable pass. crust is fantastic- bonus points for such a high crust, however, crumble is a bit much for me.. still very good though. overall, a lovely little treat for a fine spring day.
date: apr. 11 2023

carnival cruise line cheesecake

rating:
notes: no notes. only a picture of the cheesecake. it had jam on it.
date: apr 24 2023

olive garden (not sponsored) seasonal pumpkin cheesecake

rating: 6/10
notes: imagine pumpkin pie filling whipped up and turned into cheesecake. light and fluffy cake with a pretty solid graham cracker cookie crust. caramel drizzle and whipped cream do a lot for support since i feel like the cheesevake is a bit light on both pumpkin and traditional cheesecake flavors. it has hints of both but neither come through strong leading to an overall bland profile. i feel like the star is the crust on this one- a very hardy and chewy crust graham crust with the perfect amount of crumbly goodness. i think that the cinnamony crust pairs well with the overall flavor. would of liked to have seen a more pumpkiny flavor in the cheesecake but overall not too bad
date: sept. 19 2023

whole foods mini new york cheesecake

rating:
notes: yet another phot of the cheesecake but no rating... this is also the last picture i found of cheesecake review :(

maybe I should bring this back for the treating section... maybe I should try to make my own cheesecake instead... anyway. this was so fun!

dungeon meshi panel of laois and kabru

Current Mood: cheerful

📰 bi-weekly reporter

vol 27 week of 07/13-07/22

— reflecting

I can't believe I'm up to 27 editions of weekly reporter... strange how far it's come and how far I want to keep taking it. feeling very proud of this tiny little writing project I have. (edit: found out I misnumbered the volumes (used 22 twice LOL) so I had to correct it... whoopsieee)
similar thoughts to the last few reflections in the harsh and self critical vein of what I'm doing and how I'm spending my time... what goals I have or haven't achieved.. how can I do better, so on and so forth. I have a tendency to run away, and to avoid things. I'm not very good at commitment. I don't like to describe myself this way (what you say is what you do) and there's a pretty big desire internally to change this... because I haven't always been like this. I made a couple of stumbles (nothing truly drastic) that have been plaguing me with doubt for a while now... and I think in the back half of the year, I want to overcome and change that. it aligns with my core theme of doing already... and I think it's the focus I need to overcome said problems... as I tried to explain this, I felt the desire to just brain dump ideas into a doc.. and just leave it as incomprehensible and raw. sometimes I pad the doc with explanation to get people up to speed... and I'd like to stop doing it unprompted. I just want to post and people can either fill in the blanks with whatever provided information and judgements you can make or.... they'll just ask realistically. let whatever obviousness come I suppose.
been feeling very resistant to writing.

— enjoying

I bought a car! well. actually I got a loan for a car but that doesn't matter. I have a car! this was my next big planned purchase (that got moved up a few years due to the engine dying in my daily driver) and wow. it's so nice. I was driving to the bookstore today and I have no buyers remorse AHAHAA. the process was simultaneously stressful and not- so many factors that were easily resolved, but took a lot of work on my part- and now that it's all over.... I'm really enjoying the modern amenities of a new car. it's a 2024 clubman and it's such an upgrade from the 2010/2013 mini coopers, I've driven up until now. I was driving home today and I just couldn't believe how smooth it was- what do you mean there's no road noise...?
ALSO. realized I might have accidently manifested my car. I was sitting in traffic one afternoon and just happened to look down at the steering wheel and kinda posed my hand and then I remembered my vision board for 2025 on pinterest. so when I got home I took a look and low and behold one of the first pins I added to the board was an interior shot of a clubman. felt kinda insane to realize it
almost forgot about my first lime scooter adventures AHAHAHA. so I work downtown, and I have parking at a parking deck through work. so for trivia last week, I parked my car in the deck and scootered over to the trivia place which was like... 3 mins away via scooter- literally around the block. I felt like I was gonna crash the whole time BUT IT WAS SO FUN AHAHA. the next day, I went out for pizza downtown and took the scooter there, picked up my pizza order, and scootered back to work. lime congratulated me on my longest ride yet: a whooping 11 minutes. in trivia, we placed fourth, but we had a great time, I was able to participate a lot in answering questions and for whatever reason, my phrase of the night was "I concur (with the answer we've chosen)". we made fourth place despite being 6th, then 8th, so all things considered, it was a success for me!

— playing

LADS: xavier's new myth is GORGEOUS. I love that he has a claymore and it's playing into the more... darker(?) aspects of his character. I'm kinda meh on his long hair.. I feel like his bangs could have been better done imo. but I'm still excited for the myth!!!! xavier is probably number one in my lads ranking honestly (truthfully, I'm an OG3 enjoyer but I really do like all of them!!!) sigh... the parenthesis don't really explain anything.. for now, an aside about lads bias:
OG3 are easily my top preferred, but I do appreciate caleb and sylus's stories... I tried to convince myself that zayne was my number one (as he was the first chara I did a real deep dive into his card stories and such) but I think xavier takes the cake for me... he also unfortunately plays right into my usual Type: blonde hair and light eyes (typically green eyed charas, but we will make an exception for this wolf in sheeps clothing)... anyway....did this random bias tangent even clarify anything about my preferences I dont think it did at all... i think my sylus and caleb "lack of interest" is because I just haven't read enough of their stuff to really like them bah... I also need to catch up on main story.... and maybe then I'll be able to make.... better comments. I've pretty much just read card stories and events... fake lads lore enjoyer here sorry........ this is also the reason I haven't written much but drabbles in my own notes... I dont feel like I've actually done enough research to be able to write them in character and with proper justice! (new goal.... finish main story... for gwarentz comm.... for writing..... you can do it!)
new genshin update looks cool.... hsr is siren songing me, and I've been considering getting back into it... I've been playing this silly game with 10,000 levels and it's a bunch of those puzzle games... fun to waste time with AHAHAHA I think I'd like to supplement my gaming diet with some stand alone games soon.. pokemon legends za(????? is that its even called ????) looks cool....(I've only seen chara art LOL) if it's like legends arceus which I enjoyed. I think Atelier Yumia also came out so I need to investigate there as well.
pokemon aside.... I was thinking about this in the shower and in the pokemon games I played on the gameboy color in my youth.... (emerald, leaf green, fire red, sapphire...???) and if I remember correctly. why did we move into those tiny towns, just to leave on our big pokemon adventure. wasnt the dad a gym leader too???? I dont remember the explanation for this. anyway. I want to play whatever modern version those games were... I never finished them

— obsessing

car on the brain... stress on the brain.... no time for real true obsessing lately. *looks at gaming section*..... ok maybe I've been obsessing over LADS whats new. also I keep looking for reasons to ride the lime scooters downtown again, but I haven't found one yet.
same obsession loop of "what can I be doing differently?" and also. money........

— recommending

I have a lot of stuff I actually wanna recommend this week but it's like a weird scattered collection: my favorite band waterparks put out a new song!, this article about the water problems due to data centers, ORV NOVEL out in english!!! in physical copies!! EVERYONE CHEER!!!
there's more but I cant find the links... once again I need to start a better collection system ugh.

— treating

bought orv novel and vol one of the manhwa at the bookstore on tuesday when the novel got released yay!
in food news, mom made awesome brownies, and dad made chicken parm... pizza last week for lunch... burgers and a delicious calzone over the weekend.... we had awesome barbeque for lunch today too.

— encountering

feeling very very messy lately- messy room, messy thoughts... probably need to really take the time to organize and clean up everything as we start to head towards august blah.....
I house sat a couple days last week and they had a hammock in the backyard that I laid in. the breeze came through, and while it was pretty hot, it was a really nice moment. the birds and the cicadas were making all kinds of noise too. it was really peaceful as I swayed gently in the hammock. I remember the colors of the sky and the trees, and how it was kinda uncomfortably hot until that breeze blew in.

— restoring

I have been crawling into bed and just passing out lately. I feel so tired all the time!!! we've been going to the gym a little less, but I don't think I'm getting enough rest....

💭 need to update the master template for this... i keep making edits and adjustments in individual entries without updating the template ;_; 💢 why does my code always break when I try to post it

📊 stats report

last week

?????????

— 3 goals for the upcoming week
☐ rough draft goals post/doc
☐ varied life admin stuff
☐ find a stretching/mobility/flexibility routine

📥 editors recap

another lovely edition of bi-weekly reporter! I wrote the bulk of the r.e.p.o.r.t.e.r section earlier this week, but didn't have anything to pad out page two so i just left it in my drafts. I'm kind of liking the biweekly reporter... but it feels awkward in a way as well? maybe i need to add dates to denote edits? or maybe just add some kind of tag to visualize the time passage between two sections.... or maybe i should just get back into weekly reporting? LOL
had something else I was gonna say but as I made room to write it, i lost it....
🔝

▸ continued on page 2

weekly reporter vol 27 | Page 1

July nights are short: soon after midnight, dawn comes. "It cannot be too early to commence the task I have to fulfil"
- Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

on writing

been feeling very resistant towards writing lately.... maybe I've been a little too stressed with work? maybe since I've also been avoiding some life admin tasks, I can't get into the writing groove... sigh. maybe I just need to come up with a good routine for writing? or maybe I'm just putting too much pressure on myself? been thinking a lot about writing goals, and what I want to do...
in the futureeeeeee.... I'd like to talk about word counts and writing progress.. what I've worked on every week. I'm torn on including gwarentz data here or making it a separate box... of course I can do both as I see fit right? maybe sometimes it's more of a data focus and others i can include authors notes or struggles. everything is flexible i suppose.
after writing some of the other sections, and complaining about my perceived awkwardness in this reporter... i'm thinking I need to get back into journaling and working out some of the frustrations I have privately? the balance of wanting to share and be candid on my blog versus.... needing time to myself and giving myself room to work out ideas before executing them here

current musings: desk edition

got an ad for a duo buy on some pc components... so thinking about the pc set-up (and especially since my birthday is soon!!!) which also makes me wanna update my desk too bahahha. I bought a cute little pegboard today that I need to hang up, but I need to move some other wall hangings before I do that .__.
there was a tweet going around a couple days ago about decorating your space and feeling nervous that you wouldn't like how it looked. tbh i couldn't understand this concept at all. my space is always half finished, I know how and what I still want to change.
I'd really like to unbox all the stuff I have to the left of my desk and redo all my pinboards too... sigh. also been looking at couches on instagram... daydreaming about my own place eventually.

one day..... some day soon.... all of these sections will have cool dedicated spaces for whatever randomness i want to talk about.... until then, more rambles for you
been thinking about zoomieyo studio a lot. I wanna get back into pottery. wanna host a cool site. wanna make stuff. wanna try tabling at a convention. want to make a business card. want to make with intention. wanna sell stuff. run a tiny business all my own. sigh. dreams can be reality if you work towards it.

media recap

📚 reading: looking forward to rereading orv novel!!!!
📺 watching: had a work event and we saw Hair. why we watched that as a work event, i have no idea.
looking forward to watching dandadan s2!
🎵 listening: red guitar by waterparks / mega tskr by camellia and nanahira / goin'! by camellia and nanahira as well
🎮 playing: got back on hsr for one (1) day and wow. i forgot how much stuff that game had going on. sad i missed phainon banner.....
did two whole days of nyt games this past week... been too busy doing actual work to play my silly daily puzzles... gosh...

trying to think of anything I've read or watched... uhhhh maybe a movie on tv or something....?

curation
soooo i was driving to work wednesday morning.... and i realized an old concept for a newsletter i was going to write that focused on 3 items: creation, curation, and cultivation... i'm not sure how to fit these in here.... buuuuutt maybe? except this week is a terrible example because I have done none of these three things HHAHA
used my planner to write down all my upcoming bills and things and WOOOWWWWW i miss using a daily planner.

creation
sooooo i wanna start using my planner more... both for actual planning things and for art/deco journaling.. went and saw Hair the production and i kept the ticket and playbill to be able to cut it up... have a cute little journaling date with a friend of mine tomorrow too. I think I wanna print some pics for the journal... or maybe deco toploaders YAY

cultivation
this section was originally meant for the meat and potatoes of the essay... mostly musings? but i think reporter pretty much covers that ahaha. i used to worry if cultivation and creation were too close in concept... had a half lightbulb moment to read back over those old newsletters again and see what ideas I can reconnect with and develop. been slowly developing a better idea of what I want to write about for the goals post too.

▸ continued from page 1

weekly reporter vol 27 | Page 2

Current Mood: blah

i have a draft of biweekly reporter but everything about it feels so stilted and weird... writing has been hard lately!!! i dont think i've put much effort into doing much of anything the last couple weeks and the second page of reporter feels so.... unpolished? i have ideas n things for posting but blagh... maybe im trying too hard? maybe im not trying hard enough? whats the balance?.. maybe i'll push to finish up reporter anyway... try to get my writing groove back....

kinda feel like i need to do some maintenance stuff before writing will come easy again... set some goals, talk about my frustrations, get some life admin out of the way... sigh. what to do, what to do....

edit, 9:29pm: HAHAHA, seconds after i post this, i check twitter and see this tweet:
"if you want your life full of more of the things you want, you should be willing to do those things imperfectly but frequently"
so I'll go and finish up my stilted and weird biweekly reporter now. thanks universe.

Current Mood: frustrated

📰 bi-weekly reporter

vol 25 week of 06/29-07/12

reflecting — enjoying — playing — obsessing — recommending — treating — encountering — restoring — stats report — editors recap — on writing — mid year rambling — media recap

📊 stats report

last week

☑ mid year recap
☇ register for fall
☒ schedule doc appt

— 3 goals for the upcoming week
☐ mid year brain dump...?
☐ clean room -_-
☐ eat 3 meals every day

📥 editors recap

well well well.... let's get to writing I guess.
I've been having a hard time getting myself to write or really do anything at all.. *side-eyeing lack of weekly reporter* but to be fair... my car broke down and then the mechanic told me it needed a whole new motor so I spent the better part of the week before figuring out how to get rid of it (thank you facebook marketplace!) and then sourcing funding and a new car... my room is somehow a mess again... and well... I've just been lazy.
decided to make this a bi-weekly reporter since ive had virtually nothing happen and I've been distracted and felt off the last couple of weeks. so welcome to bi-weekly reporter this week. currently in consideration of trying to figure out how to automate this some... and how to make more modules/blocks for whatever I want to write depending on the week.
post r.e.p.o.r.t.e.r: something something obsessing and talking myself in circles... structural considerations.... doing the work.... I don't think I am being present. I don't know how to talk about my goals. I don't know I don't know blah blah blah. am I being too hard on myself? likely. but what am I even doing. maybe I should just make a post answering the questions I feel like I'm asking myself every week:
how am I spending my time? what am I working on? what am I doing? what can I talk about meaningfully every week? am I even trying to write well?
I feel like I'm always asking myself: what am I doing? sigh. I know what I want to do. how to bridge the gap between knowing and doing? how to not feel so weird and brittle and hollow about what I want to achieve? how do I lock in?
it feels sad and I'm at war with myself but IDK ITS NOT LIKE THAT... like I don't need pity... I just need to get out of this stupid cycle and hell I've done it before and I can do it again man. I just need to decide what it is I'm doing. need to decide to stop running away from it all. need to ask for it, instead of just want for it. 🔝

🆕 🆙 made my fanfic community :] 💭 need a layout for it tho.... do I attempt to code one...?

— reflecting

working hard, making decisions, taking half steps. trying to buy a new car, need to start studying for the lsat seriously, wanting to do more japanese practice... thinking about bass again.. countless projects and writing ideas... reading back over vol. 24 reporter's reflecting section and wanting to expand on that idea of not working hard enough more.
I feel like I've been... struggling? unnecessarily... I can't seem to get my thoughts to link the way I want them to, and I have visions of what I'm wanting but no execution. there's a larger fear here to work through, especially in order to achieve the goals I have, but I don't know where to begin on it really. once you take it out of the box, you cant really put in back in you know?

— enjoying

on wednesday I saw I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME live at a local venue and MAN THEY WERE SO GOOD. i've pretty much been listening to the setlist ever since. I'd been debating about going and I'm sososososoo glad I went. I wore this kickass all leather outfit and felt soooo cute. I also dragged along A. and it was sooo fun hanging out with her.

— playing

hit pity on the wedding banner and currently 15 shy from my next 5 star. but, I was able to get Xavier and Zayne's card, and then Zayne's cozy afternoon came home too.... been slowly grinding out pulls so I shouldn't have to whale tooo much...... I'd like to get all the wedding outfits... mostly for the mc's HAIR OPTIONS on the cards. they have a mechanic going on where you read through the memoria (the associated card story) and unlock the corresponding wedding dress and accessories. buuut to get the boys suits, you have to hit certain pull counts. since xavi came home first, I got his suit and matching ring. which is a related mechanic where if you unlock the mc outfit and the boy's outfit you get the new rings (separate from the affinity rings). anyway. 4.0 update is fun! i like the journal feature and the new rougelike echoes of kahli battle element.
no other gaming news...... I updated hsr and zzz... so I guess I should probably at minimum log in..... esp for hsr since I think you get some freebie charas from their collab with fate? actually now that I'm thinking about it. work has been kinda slow the last two weeks (calm before the storm that is our quarterly board meetings), so I started doing the nyt games every day... wordle and tiles my beloveds.... connections my detested...

— obsessing

iDKHOW setlist and writing.... been very very boring man. I think I need to get back into affirmations and stuff. I've also been obsessing over life structures... and uh. the sunshine revival prompts (which I havent written at all).
does car shopping count as obsessing too.... i dont think so. but FACEBOOK MARKETPLACEEEEEEEE is reminding me of my MERCARI PIN SHOPPING DAYS. i kept reading stuff off of facebook marketplace and my dad was like "this is just like when I used to read mana (my grandmother) the classifieds"
the usual merch obsessions too. been considering doing a wishlist on listo for all the stupid shit i wanna buy.
how not to swim in the toilet bowl of your own thoughts....?

— recommending

I have a bunch of articles I wanna read saved in my tabs on my phone.... nothing noteworthy or stand out to share unfortunately....

— treating

before the concert, I went to a dumpling place and had a delicious dinner and I've been wanting more dumplings ever since. on friday we went out for pizza and got crumbl afterward: we got the aloha pie, the lava cake cookie and the brookie and they were all super good. shared ice cream with my dad last night- and if yarnells is available to you, its very smooth and creamy. I want to get bubble tea soon.... I need to text L. and have another journaling polco date soon....

— encountering

I really wanted to just lay on top of the covers and listen to music in my headphones this weekend. didn't end up doing that at all (I took a nap and swam instead) but I think I need to stop to thinking...... got super grouchy for no reason last night that was immediately alleviated after I ate something. so I'm thinking too much (to no one's surprise) and not eating enough. yay. when will I learn man.

— restoring

ate two huge burritos today yay. been going to bed kinda early ish. been more consistent about going to the gym too.

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weekly reporter vol 25 | Page 1

but I'm becoming someone I'm not yet familiar with and it keeps my eyes open wide. It might just be July and simple mornings -The Start of Everything, Charlotte Eriksson

📝 on writing

nosebleed prompts.. writing habits... old ideas.... struggling to get into writing habits... girl.... how do I get back into daily journaling.... using my planner.... filling out prompts n shit....
GYAHHH I want to write more!!!!!! so I made the fanfic community woo hoo.... I've been forever inspired by advernia and I wanna make gwarentz a similar project for lads writing. I'd like it to really no frills.... just writing and having fun.. I'd love to post bite sized every day... work on longer fics as I get the ideas... sigh. I have a set of goals I'd love to achieve with it too like 100 days of writing, or different fic lengths and style.. GYAHH. i also wanna learn how to make icons and post them there....
thinking about some ideas I have.. the greenhouse, coolness theory, oc docs, mini 1000s, 1000 words of summer, nanowrimo, different challenges and memes and prompt fills here too... girl just put words on the page!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mid year rambling

aka editor's recap part two.
I get stuck in this trap of wanting and mulling things over and never executing. I suffer from having too many ideas and not making time for them. I want to fill up my life with so many joys. I hate the words "I want" but I don't know how to change the thought from wanting to doing. over and over.
everytime I try to make a list it feels so stupid... I get more mileage everytime I write out I want and then the list of everything.. some of this stuff is like recurring & consistent, others are projects... lots of constant learning things too... sigh. idk how to talk about this. I wish I could lay under the stars and imagine everything I want to do. working towards the studio, letting go of the perfectionism, and getting to work. learning new things all the time, getting better at stuff.. GYAHHHH IDK HOW TO TALK ABOUT THIS!!!!!! I just get so worked up into a knot when I start thinking too hard about it or trying to sort it all out and make sense of everything in my head. i probably need to just... brain dump and work it out in a diary or something and just let it be instead of trying to make it coherent here in weekly reporter.... but I want it to be coherent and I want to talk about it because it feeds reporter. hell. reporter was born of this same desire... the desire to push myself further and work on things and be proud of them. maybe I should just make a big list and post it on the wall so I remember what I'm working on. house it here in the greenhouse and let go of the worries and just work. "here's what I'm doing!" I'd like to say. sometimes you just have to let out all the stupid feelings blocking the actual work but man it's so whiny and stupid.
if I let myself, I can describe everything I want in detail. I can make all the plans, explain each little piece... but ugh. I'm not making the decision or letting myself. I'm scared of the work. I'm scared of taking baby steps and showing these little vulnerabilities of mine. I'm scared of letting my dreams be known if I haven't done the work to deserve them. I'm afraid of being honest with myself at the scale of what I want to do... I'm afraid of being honest and showing what I want. every time I sit down to write with the intention to share the ideas in my head I clam up. maybe it's not meant to share? maybe it's just meant for me to work on and then show what I've done.... sigh.
~~i miss when no one read my blog!!!! this feels embarrassing and whiny and I don't want to talk about it... but I do! only so I can work through it..~~
I don't want my room to be littered with half done projects anymore... well... half done abandoned projects. I want works in progress, I want completed projects. I want a stupid little business card with a link to my site that shows what I do when I'm not a student, when I'm not an employee, when I'm just authentically working on whatever I want. I want my studio, and my online shop, and my social medias and my blog and my website and I want to be myself.

🔖 media recap

📚 reading: maybe I should start reading before bed...
📺 watching: finally watched kpop demon hunters!!! it was super cute and I really enjoyed it. others have said it better than I have LOL. I kinda feel like I missed the hype since I was so busy last week.. but there's also so many cute pins I'm seeing crop up.
🎵 listening: been listening to take this to your grave since I found the cd in the car. it has me thinking about battle of the bands au for lads....
iDKHOW setlist on REPEATTTTTTT
umeda cypher put out a new ep and I really like 47 from it. also considering starting to add last.fm stats here.....? would that be interesting.....? should I maybe make this column bigger if I do that...... sigh.. considering reworking 2nd page again T_T
🎮 playing: downloaded the updates for zzz, hsr, and wuwa.... was thinking about looking at the steam summer sale or the atelier sale... lads as usual (my beloved)
briefly considered tracking my workweek nyt games stats for reporting here too....

woe... filler be upon ye... thought about changing the media recap into sections down here but what would i put up there.....
classifieds idea.... man... waht the hell do I put here... the code breaks if I dont have this yayyyyyyyyyy -_-

I really wanted to put this pic of pom purin I saw on tumblr but. girl who doesnt know how to use images... -_- anyway its here

polaroid frame from isopods - implementation in the future somehow..... daily doodle....? word of the week?? long para element here in the future....???comics...?

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weekly reporter vol 25 | Page 2

Current Mood: contemplative

been having a hard time writing lately... tried to take it easy but it might be one of those you gotta just power through... aiming for bi-weekly reporter and maybe mid year recap tomorrow...?
considering making a community for fanfic writing -_- gyah im just frustrated

Current Mood: frustrated

📰 weekly reporter

vol 24 week of 06/22-06/28

reflecting — enjoying — playing — obsessing — recommending — treating — encountering — restoring — stats report — editors recap — summer discussion — on writing — media recap —

— reflecting

this week's considerations were mostly about how to deal with school anxiety and working hard again. I think I touched on this last week, but I just... haven't been working hard enough. I've been struggling with committing to things for a couple years now, and I feel like it's finally coming back to bite me in the ass. how am I spending my time? what am I working on? what am I doing? what can I talk about meaningfully every week? am I even trying to write well?
I'm working on developing some friendships and I feel like.... I have all these conflicting ideas of who I am and how I want to present myself. I try to keep the extreme nerdiness under wraps for irls, I have this blog, I want to present myself one way for work, one way for school, one way for friends, and I haven't quite figured out the balancing act of managing all these facets of my identity. I used to feel bad that I was putting on acts for different aspects of life, but they ask for different parts of me- it isn't inauthentic to present certain traits and not talk about others.
thinking again about what to put in the second page of reporter. I have a couple ideas for now.. but I almost wonder if I should leave it on the backburner until a little later when there are actual pieces to fill up the page. I'd also like to design some other templates to put in there depending on what I do during the week.

— enjoying

after my thursday class, we were all saying to each other: "enjoy your summer!" the weather was nice and we had gotten out early since our final was a big group negotiation, that was resolved relatively quickly and peacefully. I finished the last of my homework today, and then I have a final presentation tomorrow and I'm free until August. I do need to register for Fall classes, and start studying for the lsat again... but I'm excited it actually feels like summer. this week is a short week- we are closed on friday and we are only working a half day on thursday. I got all my work done on friday, so I feel like it really is a lovely start to my summer.

— playing

during facetime with my best friend, they said "there's a new character in hsr I think you'd like," and I looked at her pretty sheepishly asking who it was and when she said "phainon" I just laughed so so hard... maybe phainon will be the reason I return to hsr... I think I already missed the ratio rerun so there goes my aventio build kit but its fineeeeeeee....
finally got lemurian sea god!! his kit is making me want to actually learn the best way to play the battles and how to read protocores for building. I really need to be better about running orbits, and doing abyssal commissions and hunter contest. I also need to use galaxy explorer to fill out some of the freebie cards I have missing in my deck...
the next banner is a multi and its wedding themed! its also coinciding with 4.0 update! everything is very very pretty and there's a ton of new rewards and features I'm looking forward too.

— obsessing

hoping to make this summer productive in terms of creative projects... so I've been thinking about a mid year recap/monthly recap post... more outlines for goals. thinking about my hobonichi, craft projects, the website.. blah blah blah ideas ideas ideas.
there's a couple of kickstarters I'm thinking about backing, so much lads merch I want to buy...

— recommending

this account is really cute and has been inspiring me as far as like hobonichi journaling. read and enjoyed this article and I'm considering adding the books to my reading list

— treating

mom made filipino food and cookies this week! very tasty leftovers.
the trivia group went out to main event on monday, and we did bowling and laser tag. I got one strike!!! and ended up in like 3rd or 4th place. I also set off a chain of everyone taking pictures like super close to their face so the scoreboard was full of us all zoomed in it was hilarious. we did two rounds of laser tag and tbh I SUCKED!!!! but it was super fun- we were a huge group so you'd turn a corner and someone was there so I pretty much just camped the whole time.

— encountering

felt very very anxious all week last week. really barely did anything but work and go to school... I did manage to clean my room and get all my homework done today though! there's still a pile of laundry to wash....
in other news, my car broke down on thursday too T_T its in the shop and hopefully it doesnt cost an arm and a leg......

— restoring

yesterday was the first time I went to the gym all week... so I was super off. tired, anxious, pre-workout caffeine deprived.. no wonder I felt so weird all week. but my workouts today and yesterday were great!! i hit a pr on squats today yay!

💢 tried to make draggable boxes the other night and it was Not Working.

📊 stats report

—last week's goals
☇ bring back bitesized: 2/7 days
☑ finals week
☑ make sure I'm eating

—3 goals for the upcoming week
☐ mid year recap
☐ register for fall
☐ schedule doc appt

📥 editors recap

there is honestly not much to report on this week. finals took up most of my mental bandwidth and I felt myself longing for the weekend with the classic: "just get through this week"
still haven't settled in on any specific ideas for 2nd page, but I'm considering a weekly comic maybe? eventually, when I have more projects going (~~hopefully~~ this summer will finally be the summer of projects!) I can have a greenhouse missive/project update log, it would be nice to have a weekly writing stats update as well... maybe I'll try to make it a point to take pictures/source memes for the lower section. in my mind, i'd like a quote of the week at the top, the middle section dedicated to project updates and the media recap, and then the lower section for photos of some kind. here on page one, the obvious reporter section, a middle highlights section for other posts, or a random thought/frustration of the week, then the stats report, and editors note. I'm also considering cutting the section entirely UNLESS I specifically have stuff to report on? considerations considerations.
wanting to make a prettier intro, and I'd like to use the polaroid look? or maybe a business card look? I've been itching to do more coding projects, but I don't know what direction I want to take the intro. as highlighted above, I've been trying to make an intro page code for my gwarentz accounts... but draggable javascript is not beginner friendly. I also felt like the code was just shitty looking so I gave up all frustrated on friday night.
was thinking about making some of this text a dedicated section on page two, specifically regarding template updates but its fine in the editors letter. I dont know how many times I'll actually talk about this... but it is making me consider a bunch of plug and play layouts for different topics as they make appearances perhaps! I was thinking about updating the banner bar at the top to reflect the contents of the newspaper, but I couldn't decide if I wanted to shorten down the reporter section.... would the title look silly with a smaller reporter underneath? that as my main concern.
🔝

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weekly reporter vol 24 | Page 1

As June runs into warm July, I think of little else but you. - Wendy Cope, Summer Villanelle

Summer 2025 Discussion

1. What’s outside the window?
my window looks out at an outbuilding we have for storage. theres a fence that pokes right into the middle of my window, around the air conditioning unit. there's a big leafy tree to the right, and our tiny set of blackberry bushes to the right, and across the yard. I see the back gate, and the burn pit where we roast marshmallows in the late summer. my dad's old grill stands guard in front of the box, and to the grill's left, a tool cabinet slowly being overtaken by some viney weed. this is the wild corner of the yard, where the girls (yuki and lola, our shih tsus) like to play and lay when they get too tired. dusk is settling over the yard now, so there's no little birds or squirrels to be seen like earlier in the day.
2. Canoeing
I went canoeing with an old friend a couple years ago... or maybe they were kayaks and I've actually yet to canoe. I'd like to try whatever form of boating again, as I'm stronger than I was. 3. Newsletter
I tell myself that I'll start up a newsletter when I get a little more tech independent, based on this guide. I'd like to make a business card with this website when I get it up and running too. although, isnt the weekly reporter a bit of a newsletter too? 4. Family dinner
on friday, my brother came over to tell us about his recent promotion, and swim in the pool. I showed up late to this impromptu party, but it was only because I had work. we had pizza, breadsticks, pasta, and wings. my brother is so funny, and my dad had just come home from a business trip, where he got to fly back in first class and got bombed on vodka and lack of lime. it was a warm friday night dinner, with the dogs going crazy and the tv playing whatever was on. 5. Summer thunderstorm
out of nowhere, we had a summer thunderstorm yesterday. I felt terrible when I saw the rain, because dad had hung some laundry out to dry and then it was drenched. the girls wanted to go play in the rain (because they seem to love getting wet) and lola tried to take a swim, so I had to drag her out of the water as the thunder rumbled nearby.

prompts courtesy of nosebleed club

i like the summertime because i feel like i am returning to a version of myself that only exists from may–august but she is always the same person each time and i like being her and seeing the world through her eyes again

- courtesy of butterflypeaflowertea

on writing
been thinking about some of the things I'd still like to write that I got tired of copying and pasting into reporter every week with no progress:
🖉 24 week clay retrospective
🖉 goals doc......
🖉 coolness theory 3 parter
🖉 oc intros
🖉 greenhouse missive/intro
and I'm thinking about an old notion page I had dedicated to writing.. and some of the goals I tracked within in. I'd like for dreamwidth to be more than just weekly reporter, but I get so hung up on making these good, instead of just making them be... so I want to try and change that this summer. so many backlogged projects. i miss writing more.

media recap

📚 reading:
📺 watching:
🎵 listening:
🎮 playing: love and deepspace merling oath event

I really want to watch kpop demon hunters and the new season of the bear... I want to start reading noragami or fma... need to catch up on stars of chaos, and coins of destiny, plus do an inventory of what manga and danmei i have on the shelf... I think I've overdue for my yearly rewatch of weathering with you too.... I also have been meaning to check out apothecary diaries.. sigh. I probably need to do a dedicated list to everything in the backlog. not to mention the games.......

congrats to pom purin for winning no. 1!!!!!!

what was the Sigh of your week ? (low point)
what was the Swoon of your week ? (high point)
fun little prompt from sighswoon on twitter
sigh: finals week anxiety swoon: treated myself to a piece of cheesecake on monday

been considering using my other twitter account to do some daily posting... thinking about youtube.... thinking about streaming... all things I can add to reporter..... pondering.....

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weekly reporter vol 24 | Page 2

Current Mood: pleased

📰 weekly reporter

vol 23 week of 06/15-06/21

reflecting — enjoying — playing — obsessing — recommending — treating — encountering — restoring — stats report — editors recap

— reflecting

within the last day or so the main thought occupying my head has been about hard work and getting things done. last week I felt like I fell behind and this week I was given the terrible news that I didn't get into the jd program this year. but, I kind of anticipated it? I rushed my application, my lsat score wasn't really that great, and ugpa wasn't spectacular either. I'm stil; pretty disappointed and bummed out about it... but this is why I applied: I either got in and didn't have to worry about it, or I knew I needed to take the lsat again. I've had to work hard for everything I've done school-wise. dedicating many hours to studying, working to understand and learn the material... so why would I be able to coast into law school.. why would I even want to? is the questions I keep asking myself. hell..... look at this! I worked hard to make it and figure it out from scratch. there's an inkling of an idea, that I probably need to work through, regarding hard work and what it means to me.
haha! I just remembered the theme of doing that I've been revolving around this year. hard work and what it means to me, what it means for my hobbies, what it means to work hard.

— enjoying

on wednesday, I had a group project call for one of my classes where we talked about the assignment plan for like 10 mins. then we spent the next 35ish minutes talking about random stuff like law campus drama and how to hang up a tv. on friday, I went to a housewarming party that as it got later turned into a house party and it was so fun!! I dressed up super cute (and got some looks hehe), did a couple tequila shots, sang a bunch of karaoke, and had a good time!! yesterday, a friend of mine came over and we swam in the pool. we had also gone to the house party together and we are trying to like get to know each other? anyway, we had a cool convo about how hard and weird it is to make friends- "you have to be really intentional and upfront because its not like it was in school, you know?" kinda vibe.
all that to say... I love having a social life AHAHA. the trivia group has plans for tomorrow evening to go to laser tag too and I'm super looking forward to it. then this week is jammed packed with finals week stuff.. classes on tues and thurs, group project presentation on wednesday.... sigh.... one more week of busyness and then hopefully july will just be fun

— playing

my brother got me to download this game app he has with 10,000 levels of all those basic phone games.. aka: zee has no other games to talk about except love and deepspace segment. do I go back to hsr? to zzz? to wuwa? hell maybe even genshin??? other game considerations I've had recently.....
lads update: did the 3/4 freebie pulls plus the one or two I had saved and got a perm pool rafayel card T_T so now I gotta grind some more pulls to try and get the new limited myth. I really like the playstyle (of the fully ranked) companion in the trials but I am Not going to R3 him. I just cant justify that. ranking up myths is gonna be a rerun goal... i've seen some insane stuff where people are doing like 400 pulls and only hitting r1. which means its more loses than wins!!!! idk i just. thats too much for me.

— obsessing

so I finally got the 2 page weekly reporter template to work!!!! huge huge thank you to @isopods code explanation in helping me figure out how to make it work. I did have to take out the links in the "nav bar" that would auto jump to the different reporter sections. I figured since they already scrolled it would be fine and not missed too much. now that I've got the layout figured out, I need to figure out what to put on the second page LOL. I have some ideas.... but reporter was always intentionally a very simple prompting exercise to talk about my week. the second page really was just a "can I figure it out?" experiment with some loose ideas for a continuation of stuff to talk about every week.
relatedly, I've also loved looking at all the magazines and newspapers that come in. I process the mail for the office and there were a couple publication layouts that directly inspired the final weekly reporter template. so if yall see any interesting layouts.... I'd love to try and code them
as I've been playing around here with this.. I've been wanting to get back into making my neocities again. idk if the difference is that dreamwidth already has scaffolding so it's just easier to play in the pre-made stuff but I think that I'm ready to try playing around with the freedom that neocities has....

— recommending

this article kinda details the direction I feel like taking. this article inspired the idea for page 2 of weekly reporter.. these might be cute for little dividers for lads fanfics on gwarentz..... this workout was amazing and killed my legs and butt.

— treating

I had bought this necklace that got stuck in production but it finally came in and WOW. its bigger than i expected. I also ordered a bunch of stickers from there that I might use in my hobonichi...
mom made magic bars (hello dolly bars) and lasagna this week!!

— encountering

didn't really get ahead on my homework but I'm at least caught up instead of drowning in work. continuing on from reflecting, but I guess I don't feel like I'm working hard enough these days? one friend suggests I should take some time to relax. I guess there's some control issues I need to work through? maybe I do need to take july off and just hit it hard in august. I dunno. maybe I should just have more fun.

— restoring

tried to go to bed early this last week. didnt make it every night but did prioritize rest! our office was closed on thursday and all I did was sit on the couch and read fanfic while I waited for my laundry. felt a little guilty for not being productive and getting ahead... but it all worked out by this weekend right?

🆕 🆙 hello weekly reporter version 2!!!!!
💭 "what else should I add to weekly reporter... how can I make a dynamic layout for it....."

📊 stats report

—last week's goals
☑ fix 2 pager weekly reporter
☑ homework backlog
☑ take it easy

—3 goals for the upcoming week
☐ bring back bitesized
☐ finals week
☐ make sure I'm eating

should I start doing fitness tracking here too...? oh maybe pr highlights or something?

📥 editors recap

hello hello recap! I'm not sure what to say tonight. I feel like the first half of the reporter entries were really long but the second half kinda died down LOL. anyway. I guess we can focus on some upcoming stuff for reporter?
so the second page needs some media ideas. I pulled the basic layout from a business magazine we get at work and they utilize images.... I'd really like for it to be mostly text based but I have wanted to figure out images on dreamwidth for a bit.... anyway. I'm tentatively considering making it very media focused? I trimmed down the middle divider here on the first page to a highlights bit. I'm thinking of making a media recap similar to the stats report... I'd also like to do bitesized highlights and writing commentary things? I'm just not actually producing enough stuff during the week to highlight those things. sigh sigh sigh.
>how to live a fuller life? >how to make more time for things you like? help?????
there's so many cool things I'd like to do... maybe I'll make it for a monthly recap only? idk idk idk suggestions welcomed.
writing all this out made me want to do a deepdive stream of consciousness writing / planning session thing. oh my. feeling overwhelmed.
🔝

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weekly reporter vol 23 | Page 1

made this as a quote section... also thinking about adding a topper to this- real narrow, just a weekly reporter page two type thing. should i source weekly quotes or what should i put here......?

I have some writing goals for my lads account that I'd like to talk about and its based on a recap I've had saved forever... oh. there's also another recap layout I have saved. I guess I could put them here or use these spaces as deep dives for whatever other topics I wanna cover?

bitesized features will hopefully be here... also should I differentiate this box here? on the layout that inspired it, it had a background color to break it up some. maybe I'll realign the text?
I miss the details element... so I wanted to give it some space here for when I get to writing stuff I wanna share.

i'd love to incoporate a craft corner concept??? detailing whatever projects I'm working on. but uh. there are no projects I'm working on...
unfortunately I love dreaming up ideas but never executing. so they get stuck either back-burnered or left as a nebulous imaginary idea. i'd like to change that....

media recap

📚 reading: FANFIC: LADS regency era au
📺 watching:
🎵 listening: love and deepspace ost / jrap / black pontiac
🎮 playing: love and deepspace merling oath event

media thoughts...? links??????? should I also make this scrollable? unfortunately I did a whole lot of nothing this week except work on homework and try to rest. idk what the last book i read was. I think media recaps are so cool I'm just. not always consuming media T_T

@isopods also has a really cute little html hack for polaroids that I wanna incoporate here... but once again: >girl who does not use images in her posts (bc shes silly) I'd really like to make this a little gallery section for stuff...

i am too ambitious.... WHAT THE HELL DO I PUT HERE AHAHHAHAHA
these are all flex boxes... considering making them fixed width + scroll instead... also trying to decide if i want to add more stylized elements in here. this page is overall more plain than page one.... but page one is LOCKED IN!!! when it comes to emojis and stuff. mostly because that page's concept was pretty developed when I created it. we will get there eventually.... this section was inspired by classifieds... so if you wanna share your stuff BAHAHA. maybe I should make this a recommendation section too..

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weekly reporter vol 23 | Page 2

Current Mood: working

📰 weekly reporter

vol 22 week of 06/08-06/14

reflecting — enjoying — playing — obsessing — recommending — treating — encountering — restoring — stats report — editors recap

📊 stats report

last week

☒ caleb birthday deco spread
☒ get ahead on homework
☒ find new training regime

— 3 goals for the upcoming week
☐ fix 2 pager weekly reporter
☇ homework backlog
☇ take it easy

📥 editors recap

honestly? this week was a hot mess. I procrastinated on ALL my school work, stayed up super late every night, skipped the gym multiple times, got nothing done for my to do list, lost my writing streak.... just one of those weeks where everything falls apart my lord. right before this, I ended up breaking the new weekly reporter layout and I'm not at all sure why it's acting so wonky now. tonight, I actually started here with editor's recap... if I were a little more savvy (perhaps something to add to the coding to do list), I'd love to make this front and center with regular reporter to follow.. maybe I'll give it a try haha!
this week I'd really like to focus on just getting caught up on everything. I'd like to go to bed at a reasonable time, get back on track in the gym and in my writing, get ahead on my homework, and have a better time than I did this week honestly. 🔝

💭 puzzling over code... branding... buying a domain.... reworking this section and brainstorming more stuff to write about every week...... what if big weekend update multi page reporter... what then?!

— reflecting

had the thought that I need to be a little more "aggressive" in my friend building. I've gotten so used to just hanging out and doing things by myself that I think I've lost that maintenance that comes with having friends. I've got the trivia group that I like to hang out with, but I'm particularly interested in better developing friendships with a couple girls I've been meeting up for dinner and coffee with. I think I'd like that casual comfort in being able to make on the fly plans and text them a bit more... I think I also need to be a little more proactive in developing friendships in class too and with my coworker mentor. my first step should be asking more questions about them, I think. now that I think about it.... it also applies here too gyah.
🔝

— enjoying

a while back, I bought this little matching jacket and sweatpants (if you can call them that? theyre cropped and dont have the bunching at the ankle) and I pulled them out of the stack recently while I did homework. it's very soft and comfortable. I sit under an air vent and get cold at my desk, so the weight of both is just right. its kind of like a homework/house clothes uniform... better than staying in my work clothes, but not quite so relaxed that I'm in my pajamas.
🔝

— playing

calebs birthday has just passed. I did all his birthday stuff last minute since my week was such a mess but you can see the cake here I'm debating on making a digital collage or a physical one.... I'd also like to do a backdated one for sylus.
the more important thing though, is rafayel's gorgeous new myth!!!!! we are finally getting his mermaid tail!!!!! the cards, thetrailer and all related marketing are so STUNNING!!!!
we are also getting a new zayne 10 days with you card and he's in scrubs!!! he looks heartbroken!!! i cant wait to read it yay. <3
🔝

— obsessing

I wanna buy lads merch.... but I keep missing all the stupid preorder windows for pins... and I wanna preorder those silly dolls and now I've come around to the nendo....
sigh all i wanna do is buy things I am so ridiculous
also I'm considering buying some icon slots for all the lads boys... I tried to go through and get rid of some but I couldn't bring myself to delete them WAHAHA
🔝

— recommending

being gentle with yourself..... I feel run through the ringer. also this comic is me this week LOL
also wanna recommend pants comics... theyre so full of life and so weird but delightful... reminder to rest!!!!
🔝

— treating

my supervisor and one of my other coworkers share a birthday so we went out to lunch and had delicious empanadas!! I bought lunch on friday (because we had no leftovers) and had some awesome chicken tenders and a yummy brownie sundae dessert.
our power went out during a short thunderstorm yesterday, and since I had homework I needed to do I went out to my usual tea shop and got a jasmine fruit tea!! it was SUPER refreshing... drink of the summer I think. I wanna see if I can get boba in it next time
🔝

— encountering

I really have no idea where my time is going. I might start one of those little trackers... I think I also need to make better to do lists? at work I'm not having any issues but my personal life is a mess!!!! have some fun life stuff happening starting at the end of the week... goodness. june is half over??? I feel like I'm still super lost??? I wanna write and do things and not feel so behind GYAH!!!!!!!!! I need a break!!! a day to get my life back in order GAHHHHHH!!!!!
🔝

— restoring

there has been no restoring here.... but we will get back on track!!! a hard week is just drop in the bucket- I've got this!!! it one of those things where I've just been exhausted all week but not in a bad mood? a little overwhelmed with what I need to do..
🔝

Current Mood: exhausted

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📂 📬 intro

📰 weekly reporter

— reflecting

— enjoying

— playing

— obsessing

— recommending

— treating

— encountering

— restoring

media recap

📥 editors recap

🖉 on writing

💭 current musings: magic

👛 dating and modeling

📊 stats report

📰 weekly reporter

— reflecting

— enjoying

— playing

— obsessing

— recommending

— treating

— encountering

— restoring

media recap

📥 editors recap

🖉 on writing

💭 current musings: journal changes

👛 dating and modeling

📊 stats report

📰 weekly reporter

— reflecting

— enjoying

— playing

— obsessing

— recommending

— treating

— encountering

— restoring

media recap

📥 editors recap

🖉 on writing

💭 current musings: end of the year

👛 dating and modeling

📊 stats report

📰 weekly reporter

— reflecting

— enjoying

— playing

— obsessing

— recommending

— treating

— encountering

— restoring

media recap

📥 editors recap

🖉 on writing

💭 current musings: end of the year

📊 stats report

📰 weekly reporter

— reflecting

— enjoying

— playing

— obsessing

— recommending

— treating

— encountering

— restoring

media recap

📥 editors recap

🖉 on writing

💭 current musings: research, business analytics, statistics

📊 stats report

📰 weekly reporter

— reflecting

— enjoying

— playing

— obsessing