📰 weekly reporter 07.27-08.09

[zoomieyo]

📰 weekly reporter

vol 28 week of 07/27-08/09

reflecting — enjoying — playing — obsessing — recommending — treating — encountering — restoring — stats report — editors recap— on writing — media recap —

📊 stats report

last week

?????????

— 3 goals for the upcoming week
☐ ??????
☐ ??????????
☐ ????????????

---

not really feeling stats report.... maybe I should swap with media recap? I think I need to revamp this... especially if I'm doing biweekly reporters instead.....

📥 editors recap

hello again bi-weekly reporter. been feeling very restless and silly and very very non-writey lately so forgive me for not posting or replying to comments much. I can't believe it's already nearly the middle of august, 4 days from my birthday.... what do you mean we are already at the midpoint of august, and past the midpoint of the year. sigh. i feel like ive been so flaky on everything. i feel torn in so many directions. im not sure where to start or what to do. things havent been bad at all, but I don't think I can really say that I've been present. fall classes start soon, i need to get into the focus of really studying for the lsat again. i want to focus. i want to outline some goals, get a plan together. but im not sure how to explain everything I want to do. im not sure what direction to go in. this is the initial hurdle right? so how do you talk about what you wanna do. i guess it's also kind of my classic excuse making so uhm.. maybe thats the first hurdle really. anyway. ive gone off on a woe is me kinda tangent. honestly im just making excuses and being lazy. i have ideas that i havent done anything with and ..... sigh. sometimes you start to write something and then you get it off your chest or you work out your problem.. and i'm kind of just like. huh. wow. im full of bullshit. i go on and on about oh i dont know what i wanna do but really i do. im just being lazy and not wanting to admit that instead of working on stuff.. id rather just sit on the couch and do the easy thing .... scrolling twitter, playing stupid games on my phone, etc etc.
🔝

💬 note to self: respond to comments this week.....

— reflecting

been having a consistent crisis of "what am I doing?"
asked my dad about it, and he said that I should just enjoy the time that I'm in right now. a handful of days before my birthday, and a handful of days before school starts. I'm working, working on my degrees, there's actions and plans to be set into motion... but I still feel this strange hollowness. its that lack of creativity most importantly, but I don't know how to talk about it. maybe I should worry less about it... and figure out how to fill that little void it's created. maybe its not an output problem? maybe it actually is an input problem. i'm thinking of data analysis- bad data means bad analysis. trash in, trash out- maybe there's a lack of resources to draw from. maybe I need to read more, watch more, play more games. and it will resolve itself. endless media scrolling and ad riddled games makes for a boring zee indeed...?

— enjoying

as the fall semester approaches, ive been trying to use my planner more. ive done a little bit of journaling in the blank pages in the back, and been jotting down things that have happened during the week on the weeklies. i did a little collage insert the other day too.
i love driving in my new car. the experience is just, so pleasant.

— playing

our little pack of pets (3 small dogs, and a cat) have been making me laugh so hard lately. their personalities are all so nutty and man. our pets are just too cute.
LADS: well I got KoD companion but with his messed up kit, I didn't go for more. new beach banner will start on tuesday and i seem to be the only person who likes the tiny swim shorts they put the boys in. the fandom on twitter has been insufferable as usual. i'm tired of looking at it. there's apparently going to be a boycott on the cn side on this quint banner bc of xaviers messed up kit and there's also a lawsuit regarding it. others complained about rafayel getting bridal carried by mc in the quint preview. then there's the usual "its not f2p friendly" with a ton of new outfits being added to the lunar shop (this isn't a paid shop exactly, but it requires ranking up/getting dupes of 5 stars. i do agree on this it fucking sucks.) anyway. fandom drama aside.
i havent read xaviers new myth because i heard its heartbreaking. i also havent read his lightseeker myth and there's some spoilers/timeliney stuff so I was thinking... hm. when do I want to experience this angst? I've actually terribly behind on cards and main story right now.

— obsessing

I've had nothing occupying my thoughts. except like. negative obsessing as expressed in both editors recap and reflecting.
ok actually maybe a little bit about love and yearning and relationships and friendships.... but I dont wanna get into that. there's also like: "this is the youngest I'll ever be" fomo going on and this sums up how I'm feeling about it.

— recommending

simon sarris does office hours over on twitter and I really liked this reply: "with the internet you have an *infinite* surface area to put yourself out there, and you're not doing it. No one can find you. Where is the YOU?"
related to page two topic: some level of internet fame this "career advice" got me thinking on how i could........ tie it into zoomieyo studio
editors recap was pulled from a 500 word warm up I did and I cut out a segment kinda talking about being "performative"
maybe I just need a project, and I should just do things and I'll get out of my being stuck.

— treating

been craving raising canes and bubble tea... so during my mall browsing yesterday I got both. I'm on the hunt for cool sticker sheets and stuff for my planner... and future decos.

— encountering

at a weird place with my fitness right now. I'm kind of considering a couple different things: zumba certification (just for fun) and entering a body building competition. I finally!!!!!! hit my goal of bench pressing 135 pounds so now I'm in a "what now" kind of situation.
I probably need to find/build some plans: new weight lifting goals, mobility/flexibility routines, macro and food habits... source some coaches for bodybuilding.... sigh.

— restoring

really wanted to be outside today. felt super listless all afternoon, so I helped my dad diy take off the bubbling tint on my brothers car. I was a junior helper so I got to just sit and enjoy the heat some.

▸ continued on page 2

weekly reporter vol 28 | Page 1

"It is August. My life is going to change, I feel it" - Raymond Carver

some level of internet fame

coolness theory drafting
I really want to be cool. part of it is performative, and part of it is a genuine wanting to do stuff. I've been sitting on this essay idea for a while now, and it's really been at the forefront of my mind for the last couple of days.
I've come to the conclusion, that right now, I wish I had... more of an audience of sorts? I think about becoming a streamer, or doing some kind of themed account on instagram (ive toyed with the idea of fitness/bodybuilding ;~; ) or just. doing something focused on growing and maintaining interactions. it feels so icky to admit that it's something I want honestly. theres a part of me thats a little ashamed that I too want attention and a little fame. I had a moment last week with some friends, where I was pretty embarrassed- but I made a joke saying that I love to entertain. it was the truth though. there is an aspect of Posting that I do actually really enjoy. and while this rears its head, there's also an aspect that I want to explore in the coolness theory essays revolving around the core ideas that influence my declaration? subjection? determination of when something/someone is or isn't cool.
in my mind, I'm not cool enough. I don't have a committed practice that I follow (depth), nor do I follow through/pursue the variety (width) of things that I've started... which all culminates in a lack of cool (doing the work).
for a long time, I've daydreamed about the idea of being an internet personality of sorts.. I just. don't know how big. would it be enough to do the work, or do I want to make money off of it (the answer to both, is yes.) but there's guilt and shame in wanting that. I haven't dug into it to be able to enunciate why.

on writing

technicalities, function, and performance I haven't thought about writing for two weeks. which 1. makes me feel like the fakest writer ever and 2. writing still wove it's way into my thoughts
there have been a handful of mornings within the last two weeks where I woke up before my alarm and thought "oh yeah I should use this time to get back into morning pages" and instead rolled over and laid there, guilty, until my alarm went off. I really feel like I've lost my writing spark. I know I've been spending too much time on the internet, mindlessly scrolling, or playing ridiculous ad-filled games on my ipad...
I can't seem to keep up a writing streak. there's plenty of prompts out there, and hell, I was a long time journaler in the stream of consciousness/morning pages camp. I'm not sure how to resolve this yet. I'm sure it is as simple as doing the work. forcing myself to sit down and write, no matter the mood. words on page, good job. maybe I need that little circle reminder: get it done, you can make it better later. or whatever the quote is.

current musings: wishlist

I currently have four shopping carts: jetpens, glossier, barehands, and pepper. for whatever reason, I can't get myself to pull the trigger on finishing them out. the one I think I want the most is the jetpens order, which has my preferred pencils in it and a silly little bag that matches last years hobonichi. speaking of hobonichi, I'm looking forward to the new designs for next years planners.
other current wishlist items include.... the pc that I want to build -_- and when I get the restock notif (likely sometime in december T-T ) a fancy pencil case pouch.

media recap

📚 reading: -
📺 watching: -
🎵 listening: been hardcore obsessed with my wack ass august playlist cw: bbno$ and joey valence and brae, with a sprinkle of kpop? (is katseye and strategy from KPDH even considered kpop) yeah idk man its a weird playlist I'm so sorry if you listen to it.
🎮 playing: LADS as usual

---

maybe it IS time to fill the cup and check out some media for once.

curation
reminder to self: PLEASE UPDATE THIS TEMPLATE IN OBSIDIAN GIRL. stop making it so hard. every reporter I fight with it.
ok so the quote at the top of this page i saw out of context but looking at the larger piece its from (which I usually do when I use them for quotes) blew me away. i might need to check out more of mr. carters work. maybe I should memorize it for the monologue i've been wanting to learn :0

creation
since I've been obsessed with bbno$ music I made a dumbass bbno$ on board sticker that I need to refine. I don't know why I got obsessed with his music for the last two weeks but here we are.

cultivation
thinking about the greenhouse and digital gardens and how I can make reporter cooler for future editions.

▸ continued from page 1

weekly reporter vol 28 | Page 2

Comments

[zavodilaterrarium]

Oh, happy late birthday!

Not wanting to think about your goals or not having the energy to is unfortunately relatable. It just takes so much mental capacity that I don't have right now, when I technically do know what I want to do with my life but it's extremely unrealistic so coming up with something attainable is demoralising.

Yeah, sometimes it really is an input problem. I'll be doing whatever and suddenly some cool new thing strikes inspiration, reminding me that I do like creating things, I just need good motivation XD

Glad you love your car!

I do kinda feel the draw of internet fame, but I know I'd never want it to get to the point of risking my anonymity or drawing in weirdos.

One of the few fiction pieces I wrote recently was started and almost finished while I was waiting in the dentist's office. Honestly, I probably need some sort of dedicated "writing" environment. After all, the only reason I've been getting through the novels my friend lent me is cause there's not much else that's convenient to do on the crowded train I take to and form university. Suppose I could try and use my time before and between classes to write, when I'm not doing last-second work.