📰 weekly reporter 06.29-07.12
Jul. 13th, 2025 09:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zoomieyo📰 bi-weekly reporter
📊 stats report
last week
☑ mid year recap☇ register for fall
☒ schedule doc appt
— 3 goals for the upcoming week
☐ mid year brain dump...?
☐ clean room -_-
☐ eat 3 meals every day
📥 editors recap
I've been having a hard time getting myself to write or really do anything at all.. *side-eyeing lack of weekly reporter* but to be fair... my car broke down and then the mechanic told me it needed a whole new motor so I spent the better part of the week before figuring out how to get rid of it (thank you facebook marketplace!) and then sourcing funding and a new car... my room is somehow a mess again... and well... I've just been lazy.
decided to make this a bi-weekly reporter since ive had virtually nothing happen and I've been distracted and felt off the last couple of weeks. so welcome to bi-weekly reporter this week. currently in consideration of trying to figure out how to automate this some... and how to make more modules/blocks for whatever I want to write depending on the week.
post r.e.p.o.r.t.e.r: something something obsessing and talking myself in circles... structural considerations.... doing the work.... I don't think I am being present. I don't know how to talk about my goals. I don't know I don't know blah blah blah. am I being too hard on myself? likely. but what am I even doing. maybe I should just make a post answering the questions I feel like I'm asking myself every week:
how am I spending my time? what am I working on? what am I doing? what can I talk about meaningfully every week? am I even trying to write well?
I feel like I'm always asking myself: what am I doing? sigh. I know what I want to do. how to bridge the gap between knowing and doing? how to not feel so weird and brittle and hollow about what I want to achieve? how do I lock in?
it feels sad and I'm at war with myself but IDK ITS NOT LIKE THAT... like I don't need pity... I just need to get out of this stupid cycle and hell I've done it before and I can do it again man. I just need to decide what it is I'm doing. need to decide to stop running away from it all. need to ask for it, instead of just want for it. 🔝
— reflecting
working hard, making decisions, taking half steps. trying to buy a new car, need to start studying for the lsat seriously, wanting to do more japanese practice... thinking about bass again.. countless projects and writing ideas... reading back over vol. 24 reporter's reflecting section and wanting to expand on that idea of not working hard enough more.
I feel like I've been... struggling? unnecessarily... I can't seem to get my thoughts to link the way I want them to, and I have visions of what I'm wanting but no execution. there's a larger fear here to work through, especially in order to achieve the goals I have, but I don't know where to begin on it really. once you take it out of the box, you cant really put in back in you know?
— enjoying
on wednesday I saw I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME live at a local venue and MAN THEY WERE SO GOOD. i've pretty much been listening to the setlist ever since. I'd been debating about going and I'm sososososoo glad I went. I wore this kickass all leather outfit and felt soooo cute. I also dragged along A. and it was sooo fun hanging out with her.
— playing
hit pity on the wedding banner and currently 15 shy from my next 5 star. but, I was able to get Xavier and Zayne's card, and then Zayne's cozy afternoon came home too.... been slowly grinding out pulls so I shouldn't have to whale tooo much...... I'd like to get all the wedding outfits... mostly for the mc's HAIR OPTIONS on the cards. they have a mechanic going on where you read through the memoria (the associated card story) and unlock the corresponding wedding dress and accessories. buuut to get the boys suits, you have to hit certain pull counts. since xavi came home first, I got his suit and matching ring. which is a related mechanic where if you unlock the mc outfit and the boy's outfit you get the new rings (separate from the affinity rings). anyway. 4.0 update is fun! i like the journal feature and the new rougelike echoes of kahli battle element.
no other gaming news...... I updated hsr and zzz... so I guess I should probably at minimum log in..... esp for hsr since I think you get some freebie charas from their collab with fate? actually now that I'm thinking about it. work has been kinda slow the last two weeks (calm before the storm that is our quarterly board meetings), so I started doing the nyt games every day... wordle and tiles my beloveds.... connections my detested...
— obsessing
iDKHOW setlist and writing.... been very very boring man. I think I need to get back into affirmations and stuff. I've also been obsessing over life structures... and uh. the sunshine revival prompts (which I havent written at all).
does car shopping count as obsessing too.... i dont think so. but FACEBOOK MARKETPLACEEEEEEEE is reminding me of my MERCARI PIN SHOPPING DAYS. i kept reading stuff off of facebook marketplace and my dad was like "this is just like when I used to read mana (my grandmother) the classifieds"
the usual merch obsessions too. been considering doing a wishlist on listo for all the stupid shit i wanna buy.
how not to swim in the toilet bowl of your own thoughts....?
— recommending
I have a bunch of articles I wanna read saved in my tabs on my phone.... nothing noteworthy or stand out to share unfortunately....
— treating
before the concert, I went to a dumpling place and had a delicious dinner and I've been wanting more dumplings ever since. on friday we went out for pizza and got crumbl afterward: we got the aloha pie, the lava cake cookie and the brookie and they were all super good. shared ice cream with my dad last night- and if yarnells is available to you, its very smooth and creamy. I want to get bubble tea soon.... I need to text L. and have another journaling polco date soon....
— encountering
I really wanted to just lay on top of the covers and listen to music in my headphones this weekend. didn't end up doing that at all (I took a nap and swam instead) but I think I need to stop to thinking...... got super grouchy for no reason last night that was immediately alleviated after I ate something. so I'm thinking too much (to no one's surprise) and not eating enough. yay. when will I learn man.
— restoring
ate two huge burritos today yay. been going to bed kinda early ish. been more consistent about going to the gym too.
but I'm becoming someone I'm not yet familiar with and it keeps my eyes open wide. It might just be July and simple mornings -The Start of Everything, Charlotte Eriksson
📝 on writing
nosebleed prompts.. writing habits... old ideas.... struggling to get into writing habits... girl.... how do I get back into daily journaling.... using my planner.... filling out prompts n shit....
GYAHHH I want to write more!!!!!! so I made the fanfic community woo hoo.... I've been forever inspired by advernia and I wanna make gwarentz a similar project for lads writing. I'd like it to really no frills.... just writing and having fun.. I'd love to post bite sized every day... work on longer fics as I get the ideas... sigh. I have a set of goals I'd love to achieve with it too like 100 days of writing, or different fic lengths and style.. GYAHH. i also wanna learn how to make icons and post them there....
thinking about some ideas I have.. the greenhouse, coolness theory, oc docs, mini 1000s, 1000 words of summer, nanowrimo, different challenges and memes and prompt fills here too... girl just put words on the page!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mid year rambling
aka editor's recap part two.
I get stuck in this trap of wanting and mulling things over and never executing. I suffer from having too many ideas and not making time for them. I want to fill up my life with so many joys. I hate the words "I want" but I don't know how to change the thought from wanting to doing. over and over.
everytime I try to make a list it feels so stupid... I get more mileage everytime I write out I want and then the list of everything.. some of this stuff is like recurring & consistent, others are projects... lots of constant learning things too... sigh. idk how to talk about this. I wish I could lay under the stars and imagine everything I want to do. working towards the studio, letting go of the perfectionism, and getting to work. learning new things all the time, getting better at stuff.. GYAHHHH IDK HOW TO TALK ABOUT THIS!!!!!! I just get so worked up into a knot when I start thinking too hard about it or trying to sort it all out and make sense of everything in my head. i probably need to just... brain dump and work it out in a diary or something and just let it be instead of trying to make it coherent here in weekly reporter.... but I want it to be coherent and I want to talk about it because it feeds reporter. hell. reporter was born of this same desire... the desire to push myself further and work on things and be proud of them. maybe I should just make a big list and post it on the wall so I remember what I'm working on. house it here in the greenhouse and let go of the worries and just work. "here's what I'm doing!" I'd like to say. sometimes you just have to let out all the stupid feelings blocking the actual work but man it's so whiny and stupid.
if I let myself, I can describe everything I want in detail. I can make all the plans, explain each little piece... but ugh. I'm not making the decision or letting myself. I'm scared of the work. I'm scared of taking baby steps and showing these little vulnerabilities of mine. I'm scared of letting my dreams be known if I haven't done the work to deserve them. I'm afraid of being honest with myself at the scale of what I want to do... I'm afraid of being honest and showing what I want. every time I sit down to write with the intention to share the ideas in my head I clam up. maybe it's not meant to share? maybe it's just meant for me to work on and then show what I've done.... sigh.
i miss when no one read my blog!!!! this feels embarrassing and whiny and I don't want to talk about it... but I do! only so I can work through it..
I don't want my room to be littered with half done projects anymore... well... half done abandoned projects. I want works in progress, I want completed projects. I want a stupid little business card with a link to my site that shows what I do when I'm not a student, when I'm not an employee, when I'm just authentically working on whatever I want. I want my studio, and my online shop, and my social medias and my blog and my website and I want to be myself.
🔖 media recap
📚 reading: maybe I should start reading before bed...📺 watching: finally watched kpop demon hunters!!! it was super cute and I really enjoyed it. others have said it better than I have LOL. I kinda feel like I missed the hype since I was so busy last week.. but there's also so many cute pins I'm seeing crop up.
🎵 listening: been listening to take this to your grave since I found the cd in the car. it has me thinking about battle of the bands au for lads....
iDKHOW setlist on REPEATTTTTTT
umeda cypher put out a new ep and I really like 47 from it. also considering starting to add last.fm stats here.....? would that be interesting.....? should I maybe make this column bigger if I do that...... sigh.. considering reworking 2nd page again T_T
🎮 playing: downloaded the updates for zzz, hsr, and wuwa.... was thinking about looking at the steam summer sale or the atelier sale... lads as usual (my beloved)
briefly considered tracking my workweek nyt games stats for reporting here too....
classifieds idea.... man... waht the hell do I put here... the code breaks if I dont have this yayyyyyyyyyy -_-
polaroid frame from isopods - implementation in the future somehow..... daily doodle....? word of the week?? long para element here in the future....???comics...?
- Current Mood:
contemplative
