zoomieyo | 📰 weekly reporter 03/23-03/29 (Reply)

R.E.P.O.R.T.E.R.

— reflecting
spending a lot of time thinking about friendships. ive cancelled plans the last three weekends and felt immense relief afterward unfortunately. i feel bad for saying yes but then not wanting to go but at the same time... i feel like the friendships have run their course. there's also been some extenuating circumstances (like my car breaking down -.-) necessitating the cancelled plans.

— enjoying
nice weather! ive been driving with the windows down lately. im kinda blanking on what ive been enjoying lately..... this week was kind of a flop i suppose?

— playing
still just love and deepspace. lost my 50/50 to xavier (which is fine i like og3 best honestly) but im still aiming to get calebs myth 1. for lore value and 2. bc his companion is insane right now. falling back seriously messed up my morning routine of lads because now the daily reset is right as i need to be leaving... i havent really been doing a lot of the mini game stuff either this week.

— obsessing
greenhouses.... been obsessing over the idea of a greenhouse for creativity... but the hangup is that its taken on like every platform LOL. so i might just make it a tag for creative logging and tracking... but the concept was based on something i had tweeted a while back (03/13): "feeling insane and crazy bc i havent been creating enough LOL...... the ideas are rotting in my brain and poisoning me instead of helping me bc i am neglecting them" so that rattled around for a while (10 days actually now that im timestamping- 03/23) and then while i was doing a brain dump, "too much ruminating happening in my head when im outwardly fine.... this is poison and rot and all i gotta do is clear it out and create and grow something instead. oh fuck greenhouses" so thats been my latest obsession with redirecting myself away from doing the work.... and thinking about ways to get me to do the work......... (more to unpack there but. we will get there eventually.)
i think all this comes from yearning for a studio. my parents and i stopped by a backyard shed/mobile building lot recently. we were looking at an actual greenhouse but also like.. sheds? but ive been wanting to make my own pottery studio with a kiln and a wheel at home and everything... which would just be part one of the studio dream... the next is a desk and fancy computer... which ive also been obsessing over..... so then you ask... okay so greenhouses is for growing your creativity or whatever that means... but what Are you working on?

— recommending
no recommendations... no enjoying.... who even am i.... what did i even do this week GAWD.... wait. it was spring break i was super lazy maybe thats why reporter was so weird. i did a lot of life admin stuff this week actually...

— treating
tillamook chocolate ice cream!!!! my coworker bought me a quart of it and its some of the smoothest, creamiest ice cream ever. i guess tillamook as a brand is known for their cheeses (and i guess ice cream too). anyway. its super good. we just finished the quart tonight

— encountering
the usual overthinking... little worried about budgeting too and ive been itching to create more. ive also noticed i have a hard time writing about goals... but not talking about them. ive been wanting to spend a lot of money lately too.. and i just feel this itch to create something. nothing has really been jiving right with me lately...

— restoring
did life admin.. scheduled my lsat... took care of a lot of annoying tasks this week. so now i dont have to worry about them..... :)

review

been feeling in a chatty mood lately.. started drafting something last night i intended to post called coffee talk where it was going to be a rambly, stream of consciousness catch up. i copy pasted the greenhouses talk into obsessing.. but then there was a start/stop chat about goals and hobbies and stuff. ive felt very bent out of shape about goals and hobbies. i mean. ive been out of shape about hobbies and goals for a while now but guh. its kind of coming to a head for me finally.
im itching to create more. i feel like my listlessness would be easily resolved if i got back into some habits and started some others. i need to be writing consistently. and i just need to write and get whatever out of my system. i feel like i have so many half baked plans sitting on burners taking up mental space. my room is a cluttered mess- a physical reflection of the mess of ideas and projects in my mind. i want to sort everything out and give it a place. i want to nurture each one, give them the time, space, and dedication they all deserve. i want to set clear goals and talk about them often- the struggles, the challenges, the joy, and the successes. thats the crux of greenhouses really- a place to sort and categorize all the ideas and things in my head. each plant gets its own pot, with a detailed set of instructions on how to take care of it. a designated own little world for each idea. i just feel tired of wishing and wanting and aching to do more and doing nothing. but first i need to sort out the mess and clutter of everything i want to do. i know that the biggest thing is writing... but writing needs to be fed- lived experiences, other writings, other experiences, other inputs and stories to make it a well rounded piece. not to say that everything needs so much care.. but you have to have the right inputs to get the right outputs.
ive been so frustrated and irritable lately in my personal life. i really probably need a little bit of space from my parents, and i need to do my own thing. ha. the universe pushing me to take care of business by making it impossible to run away from the house for now. once my car gets fixed, thats when the external work gets done- but first i need to do the internal work.
i guess i should make a greenhouse post.. the dreaded project log ive avoided for so long. but man itll be nice to just get everything out of my head.. im thinking... greenhouse intro, then a list of projects, sorted by life area. some will have detailed items within, others a simple line item... haha! seeds to buy. ill make it all themed up nice like i like. funny. i want it to have a lot of tabs... maybe ill look a for a code... it'll be linked in the pinned post.. and ill not feel so damn crazy. tracked progress... detailed plans. yeah. thats what ive been needing....