weekly reporter 1(222)-12.28
Dec. 30th, 2024 08:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zoomieyofinally back at my desk! cleaned up the laundry over the weekend before the new year! still need to tidy up my desk but I think I'll try to tackle that tomorrow after work.
— reflecting
its that time of the year where everyone posts their wrapped, or yearly reviews, year in medias, so on and so forth. I love it! I love reading what people did, what they watched, what they recommend. and as much as I love it... I find myself really discouraged this year. I didn't have a bad year by any means: went on a solo vacation for turning 25, got 2 new jobs, saved a lot of money, tried out and loved pottery, met some cool people, bought a lot of cool stuff, hit a bunch of fitness PRs and (I'm sure) some other random milestones! but it just feels like that. random other milestones.
I don't think that I lived very intentionally this year. I started the year off disliking retail sales so I pivoted.. and then the pivot wasn't any better- sure I had nights and weekends off, but I took an intentional cut in pay, and the environment wasn't really for me... but I was there all year. I didn't look to make things better until the end of the year when a lovely new opportunity sprung up. I've been dancing around this kind of vulnerability in regards to reflections and preppinggoals for the new year but it feels very... overwhelming? I feel like I keep getting distracted super easily, and that I freeze up when I think about setting goals.
I think about the life I want to live... more intentional, more disciplined, more dedicated.. I have a whole other post I want to write up talking about this exactly.....
— enjoying
music! I really need to make a playlist of 6-8 songs I cant get enough of. current rotation is kocchi no kento, natori, and meiyo.. I'm holding off on a new playlist though because I already feel like this is gonna be a month long playlist already...
— playing
I did a homicipher deep dive the other night where I got all chapter scenes unlocked!! I feel like I have a more complete idea of the story now that I've gotten most of the endings as well as seen all of the chapter beats. I'm still missing 6 endings, and I REALLY REALLY need to clean up dictionary.. I'd like to not look at guides for the dictionary quite yet... but man. the whole concept of this game is just so dang cool. I love the translating elements where everything is SO CONFUSING for the longest time and then you start to get into this groove and everything starts to make sense... granted I didn't realize I missed a couple huge chunks of freebie words in the beginning because I didn't click on the right thing LOL. once you start to see words over and over and you have more of the dictionary filled its not so brain melting AHAHA. I was really struggling for a while because I could not for the life of me figure out what was even going on.
the relationship aspects isn't a huge part but... I love all the different routes you can play with. Mr Hood is one of my favorites I think.. Mr Silvairs is lovely in a "I want to put you under a microscope" kind of way and Mr Crawling and Mr Scarletta are just so needy... I think Mr Chopped is my fave among them personality wise and story beats wise... Mr Machete has fun deviation routes. I guess they aren't really routes but endings? It's not really like an otome game but there's definitely like confessions... idk I just feel like the focus isn't the romance but trying to figure out words!!! but you still can definitely ship in it.
usual candidates of hsr and zzz..... I put off zzz for a little bit because I wasn't super super invested with where I was in the story (i'm still waaaay in the beginning) and I felt like the dialogues took so freaking long.... I also don't think my laptop can actually handle zzz so maybe when I build the pc, I'll have a better experience. I feel like the game is a little sluggish for me and some of the ui menus are confusing and overwhelming but I LOVE the combat!! I'm awful at it right now but it really is so fun. since I'm so baby at it I haven't looked into teams quite yet but I played a little bit last night with harumasa (the reason I started the game AHAHAHA), seth, and corin and man.... it was a ton of fun.. I met corin in the story and liked her (so far) so I guess I'll play some more and see what happens (¬‿¬)
meanwhile in hsr... I've unfortunately gotten to the grinding stage of leveling characters so now I'm miserable... I want my beautiful men (aventurine (reason I started playing hsr), sunday, and jing yuan) to be strong but I need materials!!!!!!!!! I also tried pulling for firefly and got nothing in five pulls but I'm not so hung up on her that I wanna spend like I did for the boys. I'm honestly hoping and waiting for a sparkle rerun because I want her!!! shes also good on team comps... sparkle, robin, and ratio are the ones I'm waiting to come back... also some of the new drip marketing came out, so I'm keeping my eye out for that. I do wanna grind out some more pulls for firefly because she would be an awesome dps for my teams... sigh...
in a couple days I'll start back on playing mahoyaku... the anime is coming out on january 6th and I miss mahoyaku... its been with me for 5 years now and I'm super behind on all the stories and cards and events but there's a super strong fan translation community so I'll probably set a huge mahoyaku catch up as one of my goals for next year media wise...
— obsessing
new years pinterest boards... I have a private board shared between my (originally) oc account and my regular pinterest and I had so much fun curating the 2025 vision board.. I'd like to print it out and make a physical board but I also feel like a board on freeform would be fun too...
— recommending
this week its andys working notes and yumi sakugawa
im wondering how i can change my note taking process, my writing process, my systems etc etc... realizing that some of the intro notes on there really inspired and informed my current writing process on dreamwidth. thinking about how i can incorporate more elements from it into my new year prep....
I actually sat and collected a bunch of prompts from yumi sakugawa the other night and I was gonna do a post but then I got SUPER tired and frustrated because it didn't scratch the itch I was looking for. so I just saved it to my drafts and went to bed..
both of these though I think kinda helped me get where I needed to though. I had my little breakthrough today so I finally feel up to writing all the stuff I've been wanting and trying to write lately.
— treating
I went and bought the pin boards and the makeup set. both are in delivery to me now. the pinboards are actually making me want to get back into the pin community but I'm not sure what I want to collect.. I used to collect demon slayer, genshin, howls moving castle, and a lot of pretty pins.. I still have a ton that need to be boarded and I kind of want to do a pin boarding stream for it maybe? I also want to do a stream for a little printer I bought and a stream camera I have that I kickstarted forever ago. but back to pins. im not sure that I wanna collect hsr.. if I see some interesting pins for my faves maybe? but I also feel like I'd maybe rather just find some creators who do nice pins and collect those.. I probably need to do a big ole destash too.. and maybe look at mercari and see if I can get some old pins I had been searching for. I still wanna collect for howls.. sigh. idk....
been eating a lot of fruit too. we had green and red grapes and strawberries in the house lately so that's been the midafternoon snack for the last couple of days.
— encountering
resistance & loneliness
resistance as evidenced by my recent tone in past weekly reporters... and its been a long time I've been struggling with it! I was really not liking my writing at all. I am my own worst critic (which I would like to work on... another round of the artists way is probably due..) and I felt like the stream of consciousness style was really really sloppy. I wanted to feel cool and polished (something I frequently struggle with actually! perhaps a shadow to explore?) and I would write something up, feel like it was terrible, and just get more discouraged and frustrated. so I kinda pulled away from everything because I wasn't feeling right. one of those self feeding loops where you feel a little low and don't do anything fun because you feel low so then it just keeps cycling..
I knew I was putting off a lot of tasks (cleaning my room, registering for classes, 401k movements, updating my resume) and I finally took care of them so it felt like a weight off my shoulders. next burden was actually having fun playing something and homicipher deep dive did the trick. after that I needed to work through my lovely overthinking and that all came together today when I journaled. challenging myself in journaling by asking questions and admitting I know the answer seems to resolve a lot of my problems but sometimes you just have to walk in circles until it finally clicks right.
in the same vein, now that everything has clicked right- I'm also sure there is some astrological significance at play as well. I believe tonight is a new moon in capricorn, which is also my rising sign.... so.. new beginnings (new moon) in the first house (rising sign) which is all about identity :)))))
I realized that I pulled away too hard and now I miss having company. loneliness and friendships and even relationships are a little troublesome for me.. I have a horrible problem of not wanting to waste time.. and I'm honestly kind of selfish? I need to put myself back out there and work on these. I know they are actually defense mechanisms where I pull away so I can't get hurt. those two descriptions are how I feel... but they aren't really true to my character. I put a lot of trust and hope in people and I've been burned by it pretty recently so I'm a little hesitant... but I want to put myself out there... I want to make connections to other people and I want to have friends to send memes and stories to. I want to bridge connections to other people and write and create art and make stuff for them. I miss when I was really active in fan spaces... but I'm hesitant to join in there too.. it'll take some time, but I'd like to get out of defense and back into the very bubbly out there friend I was a couple years ago. I'm still there... I just have to come out of my shell. (222 character count as I wrote that.. so cute! been seeing 222 a ton lately.)
— restoring
We've been taking a lot of recovery days from the gym (since we are a little unmotivated right now) buttttt I've encountered the bad habit of staying up (overthinking and distracting myself). I really don't have a lot of good for restoring because I've kinda been neglecting myself with all my overthinking and avoidance... eek..... well. you have to admit it so you can do better.
R.E.P.O.R.T.E.R.
— reflecting
its that time of the year where everyone posts their wrapped, or yearly reviews, year in medias, so on and so forth. I love it! I love reading what people did, what they watched, what they recommend. and as much as I love it... I find myself really discouraged this year. I didn't have a bad year by any means: went on a solo vacation for turning 25, got 2 new jobs, saved a lot of money, tried out and loved pottery, met some cool people, bought a lot of cool stuff, hit a bunch of fitness PRs and (I'm sure) some other random milestones! but it just feels like that. random other milestones.
I don't think that I lived very intentionally this year. I started the year off disliking retail sales so I pivoted.. and then the pivot wasn't any better- sure I had nights and weekends off, but I took an intentional cut in pay, and the environment wasn't really for me... but I was there all year. I didn't look to make things better until the end of the year when a lovely new opportunity sprung up. I've been dancing around this kind of vulnerability in regards to reflections and prepping
I think about the life I want to live... more intentional, more disciplined, more dedicated.. I have a whole other post I want to write up talking about this exactly.....
— enjoying
music! I really need to make a playlist of 6-8 songs I cant get enough of. current rotation is kocchi no kento, natori, and meiyo.. I'm holding off on a new playlist though because I already feel like this is gonna be a month long playlist already...
— playing
I did a homicipher deep dive the other night where I got all chapter scenes unlocked!! I feel like I have a more complete idea of the story now that I've gotten most of the endings as well as seen all of the chapter beats. I'm still missing 6 endings, and I REALLY REALLY need to clean up dictionary.. I'd like to not look at guides for the dictionary quite yet... but man. the whole concept of this game is just so dang cool. I love the translating elements where everything is SO CONFUSING for the longest time and then you start to get into this groove and everything starts to make sense... granted I didn't realize I missed a couple huge chunks of freebie words in the beginning because I didn't click on the right thing LOL. once you start to see words over and over and you have more of the dictionary filled its not so brain melting AHAHA. I was really struggling for a while because I could not for the life of me figure out what was even going on.
the relationship aspects isn't a huge part but... I love all the different routes you can play with. Mr Hood is one of my favorites I think.. Mr Silvairs is lovely in a "I want to put you under a microscope" kind of way and Mr Crawling and Mr Scarletta are just so needy... I think Mr Chopped is my fave among them personality wise and story beats wise... Mr Machete has fun deviation routes. I guess they aren't really routes but endings? It's not really like an otome game but there's definitely like confessions... idk I just feel like the focus isn't the romance but trying to figure out words!!! but you still can definitely ship in it.
usual candidates of hsr and zzz..... I put off zzz for a little bit because I wasn't super super invested with where I was in the story (i'm still waaaay in the beginning) and I felt like the dialogues took so freaking long.... I also don't think my laptop can actually handle zzz so maybe when I build the pc, I'll have a better experience. I feel like the game is a little sluggish for me and some of the ui menus are confusing and overwhelming but I LOVE the combat!! I'm awful at it right now but it really is so fun. since I'm so baby at it I haven't looked into teams quite yet but I played a little bit last night with harumasa (the reason I started the game AHAHAHA), seth, and corin and man.... it was a ton of fun.. I met corin in the story and liked her (so far) so I guess I'll play some more and see what happens (¬‿¬)
meanwhile in hsr... I've unfortunately gotten to the grinding stage of leveling characters so now I'm miserable... I want my beautiful men (aventurine (reason I started playing hsr), sunday, and jing yuan) to be strong but I need materials!!!!!!!!! I also tried pulling for firefly and got nothing in five pulls but I'm not so hung up on her that I wanna spend like I did for the boys. I'm honestly hoping and waiting for a sparkle rerun because I want her!!! shes also good on team comps... sparkle, robin, and ratio are the ones I'm waiting to come back... also some of the new drip marketing came out, so I'm keeping my eye out for that. I do wanna grind out some more pulls for firefly because she would be an awesome dps for my teams... sigh...
in a couple days I'll start back on playing mahoyaku... the anime is coming out on january 6th and I miss mahoyaku... its been with me for 5 years now and I'm super behind on all the stories and cards and events but there's a super strong fan translation community so I'll probably set a huge mahoyaku catch up as one of my goals for next year media wise...
— obsessing
new years pinterest boards... I have a private board shared between my (originally) oc account and my regular pinterest and I had so much fun curating the 2025 vision board.. I'd like to print it out and make a physical board but I also feel like a board on freeform would be fun too...
— recommending
this week its andys working notes and yumi sakugawa
im wondering how i can change my note taking process, my writing process, my systems etc etc... realizing that some of the intro notes on there really inspired and informed my current writing process on dreamwidth. thinking about how i can incorporate more elements from it into my new year prep....
I actually sat and collected a bunch of prompts from yumi sakugawa the other night and I was gonna do a post but then I got SUPER tired and frustrated because it didn't scratch the itch I was looking for. so I just saved it to my drafts and went to bed..
both of these though I think kinda helped me get where I needed to though. I had my little breakthrough today so I finally feel up to writing all the stuff I've been wanting and trying to write lately.
— treating
I went and bought the pin boards and the makeup set. both are in delivery to me now. the pinboards are actually making me want to get back into the pin community but I'm not sure what I want to collect.. I used to collect demon slayer, genshin, howls moving castle, and a lot of pretty pins.. I still have a ton that need to be boarded and I kind of want to do a pin boarding stream for it maybe? I also want to do a stream for a little printer I bought and a stream camera I have that I kickstarted forever ago. but back to pins. im not sure that I wanna collect hsr.. if I see some interesting pins for my faves maybe? but I also feel like I'd maybe rather just find some creators who do nice pins and collect those.. I probably need to do a big ole destash too.. and maybe look at mercari and see if I can get some old pins I had been searching for. I still wanna collect for howls.. sigh. idk....
been eating a lot of fruit too. we had green and red grapes and strawberries in the house lately so that's been the midafternoon snack for the last couple of days.
— encountering
resistance & loneliness
resistance as evidenced by my recent tone in past weekly reporters... and its been a long time I've been struggling with it! I was really not liking my writing at all. I am my own worst critic (which I would like to work on... another round of the artists way is probably due..) and I felt like the stream of consciousness style was really really sloppy. I wanted to feel cool and polished (something I frequently struggle with actually! perhaps a shadow to explore?) and I would write something up, feel like it was terrible, and just get more discouraged and frustrated. so I kinda pulled away from everything because I wasn't feeling right. one of those self feeding loops where you feel a little low and don't do anything fun because you feel low so then it just keeps cycling..
I knew I was putting off a lot of tasks (cleaning my room, registering for classes, 401k movements, updating my resume) and I finally took care of them so it felt like a weight off my shoulders. next burden was actually having fun playing something and homicipher deep dive did the trick. after that I needed to work through my lovely overthinking and that all came together today when I journaled. challenging myself in journaling by asking questions and admitting I know the answer seems to resolve a lot of my problems but sometimes you just have to walk in circles until it finally clicks right.
in the same vein, now that everything has clicked right- I'm also sure there is some astrological significance at play as well. I believe tonight is a new moon in capricorn, which is also my rising sign.... so.. new beginnings (new moon) in the first house (rising sign) which is all about identity :)))))
I realized that I pulled away too hard and now I miss having company. loneliness and friendships and even relationships are a little troublesome for me.. I have a horrible problem of not wanting to waste time.. and I'm honestly kind of selfish? I need to put myself back out there and work on these. I know they are actually defense mechanisms where I pull away so I can't get hurt. those two descriptions are how I feel... but they aren't really true to my character. I put a lot of trust and hope in people and I've been burned by it pretty recently so I'm a little hesitant... but I want to put myself out there... I want to make connections to other people and I want to have friends to send memes and stories to. I want to bridge connections to other people and write and create art and make stuff for them. I miss when I was really active in fan spaces... but I'm hesitant to join in there too.. it'll take some time, but I'd like to get out of defense and back into the very bubbly out there friend I was a couple years ago. I'm still there... I just have to come out of my shell. (222 character count as I wrote that.. so cute! been seeing 222 a ton lately.)
— restoring
We've been taking a lot of recovery days from the gym (since we are a little unmotivated right now) buttttt I've encountered the bad habit of staying up (overthinking and distracting myself). I really don't have a lot of good for restoring because I've kinda been neglecting myself with all my overthinking and avoidance... eek..... well. you have to admit it so you can do better.
